"Everyone knows somebody that needs to read this book (Perseverance) !" –Kathie Lee Gifford, Live on NBC’s Today Show
"Perseverance offers… profound insight for all of us seeking to lead a meaningful life." –Daniel H. Pink, New York Times bestselling author of A Whole New Mind
»More Reviews
Buy Perseverance
Turn Around Your Negative Thoughts
Life is suffering. No one can make less of it. Pain finds us without fail. Hearts break; dreams die; hatred flourishes; sickness prevails; people and promises leave without a trace. I dare not trivialize. I only dare to turn toward the glimmer and let it lift me into a moment’s radiant grace. This is the turn we have to take, over and over, to make our way home, to reach the untrammeled peace, the pure marvel, of an ordinary life. We must finally see that the light we seek streams from our very own eyes and always has. -Karen Maezen Miller, Hand Wash Cold
In the middle of the night, my mind and my body become still. I observe my thoughts without judgment, as they pass through my consciousness. I recognize their presence and then let them go. I feel a sense of clarity that often is distant during the day.
During the dark silence at night, I don’t avoid my thoughts by working on tasks or focusing my attention elsewhere. Typically, during the day, I exist within a state of constant doing. At night, I am simply being.
Avoiding our thoughts is a form of thought procrastination, not thought dissolution. As such, our thoughts await our attention rather than disappearing. I learned this truth the hard way – enduring lots of sleepless nights. Our thoughts and feelings, especially the negative ones, can be powerful tools for helping us discover a different perspective and positive alternatives. You can utilize these tools whenever you want – preferably, before you have too many sleepless nights.
The key to unraveling your negative thoughts is simple. Acknowledge those thoughts — know what they are, what is. Byron Katie created four questions to help center one within the rational mindset of clearly investigating our thoughts. Katie’s method is called “The Work,” and it has become wildly successful across the world.
Byron Katie writes the following about thoughts in her book, Loving What Is:
“Most people think that they are what their thoughts tell them they are…. Thoughts just appear. They come out of nothing and go back to nothing, like clouds moving across the empty sky. They come to pass, not to stay. There is no harm in them until we attach to them as if they were true.
No one has ever been able to control his thinking, although people may tell the story of how they have. I don’t let go of my thoughts – I meet them with understanding. Then they let go of me.
Thoughts are like the breeze or the leaves on the trees or the raindrops falling. They appear like that, and through inquiry we can make friends with them. Would you argue with a raindrop? Raindrops aren’t personal, and neither are thoughts. Once a painful concept is met with understanding, the next time it appears you may find it interesting. The next time it appears, you may find it funny. The next time, you may not even notice it. This is the power of loving what is.”
Four Questions – The Work of Byron Katie
Use the following four questions with the concept that you are investigating. When answering the questions, close your eyes, be still, and go deeply within as you contemplate each one. Inquiry stops working the moment you stop answering the questions.
Instructions: Write down your judgments about any stressful situation in your life, past present, or future. Then investigate the first statement about these judgments using the questions below. One by one, analyze each statement with the four questions below.
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
- How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without the thought?
Now, turn the thought around.
To do the turnaround, rewrite your statement. First, write it as if it were written about you. Where you have written someone’s name, put yourself. Instead of “he” or “she”, put “I.” For example, “Paul doesn’t appreciate me” turns around to “I don’t appreciate Paul” and “I don’t appreciate myself.” Another type is a 180-degree turnaround to the extreme opposite: “Paul does appreciate me.”
- Give at least three specific, genuine examples of how the turnaround is true in your life.
- Can you find other turnarounds?
- Give specific, genuine examples for each turnaround.
This exercise is not about blaming yourself or feeling guilty. It’s about discovering alternatives in your thinking that can bring you peace.
The Work takes practice, but there is no “perfect” way to do it. The goal is feel relief and a sense of empowerment. Visit Byron Katie’s site for videos, downloads, and other free resources to help you practice this powerful method.
. . . . .
-> On June 10th, I will be launching a new service to help you discover innovative ways to create big changes in your life. Sign up here to receive insider discounts, news, and freebies!
-> New Video: My Thoughts on Time Management
Related "ripples" you might enjoy:
- How to Turn “I Can’t” Into “I Can”
- A Turn in the Pathway
- Food For Thought: Non-Yucky Thoughts on Successful Aging
- Dare to Turn Knowledge into Action
- Pen & Paper: Overcoming Your Journaling Fears
This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 25th, 2010 at 3:05 pm and is filed under Tips + Techniques. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
12 Responses to “Turn Around Your Negative Thoughts”
Leave a Reply
Twitter: benspoont
says:
“Avoiding our thoughts is a form of thought procrastination, not thought dissolution.” – so true.
I really like the idea of writing down your thoughts. Visualizing your thoughts on paper sometimes helps me to clear them out or really take another look at how I am approaching a situation.
I love your knowledge and mindset with this post!
Twitter: carolynr
says:
Writing down your thoughts is such a powerful way to 1) identify your thoughts and 2) experiment with different ways of dissolving the thought’s power. Once it’s on paper, it is a separate entity – no longer a part of us.
I am starting to learn that thinking of negative thoughts and holding them in will make everything around you seem negative. If you don’t let go of them it will be the hardest thing to move on with your life.
One of my best friends recently lost her father and has been holding in all of these negative thoughts and has been draining her energy. I guess I learned that from watching how this has been affecting her life. I always say life is too short to dwell on negativity.
Twitter: carolynr
says:
Wow, great insight! Negative thoughts are very magnetic.
Thank you Carolyn, in reading this post this evening so timely, I felt these lines stay with me so serenely..
“I observe my thoughts without judgment, as they pass through my consciousness. I recognize their presence and then let them go. I feel a sense of clarity.”
blessings to you,.. xx Jenn
Jenn´s last blog ..Within the Heart Chamber: Love Isn’t Safe.
Twitter: carolynr
says:
Thank you, Jenn, for sharing your kind words with me. I am so grateful.
Twitter: jeansarauer
says:
‘The Work’ has had a profound affect on my life in getting me to look at things from a totally different perspective. Although I’m a bit of a backslider at practicing the questions, I’m grounded enough from past practice that I usually don’t get too far off the beam before asking myself, “Is this true?”
Jean Sarauer´s last blog ..Exclusive Blog Content: Spark of Genius or Flash of Insanity?
What a wonderful post! Over at Positively Present, I’m constantly focusing on how I can transform negative thoughts into positive ones and this post addressed that topic so well. I just linked to this post on Twitter @positivepresent. :)
[...] Turn Around Your Negative Thoughts, Carolyn of A Beautiful Ripple Effect shares some simple, useful tips for discovering alternative [...]
Thanks for this thought-provoking post. In a single day, a million thoughts would cross our minds, some good and some not so much. I don’t think we should just dismiss negative thoughts too easily. Sometimes, we can learn from them. Or learn to turn them into something useful. Unless your negatives thoughts involve hurting someone, I think we can always do something about them. Some artists are able to channel their negative thoughts into beautiful images. Some can turn their most painful experience into a book or a novel that could inspire the world.
I like the turn the thought around exercise. Usually we see/think only what we want to see/think. It helps gives us perspective when we turn thoughts around and see the truth behind every thought.
Even with our constant multi tasking, we can really, truly, only think one thought at a time. If we keep it that simple, we can easily make the switch to positive, when something negative comes up.
Courtney Carver´s last blog ..How to Simplify your Closet
Whooa I love your turn around your negative thoughts..first time in this site but Honestly I’ll visit here everytime I surf..two thumbs for you:):)
Armi´s last blog ..Cheap Student Car Insurance