Between the Mind and the Pen

I write to understand better – myself and other people. I write to communicate and connect, usually first in my journal and then onto a legal notepad, and finally by typing as quickly as I can. I lose track of time and the world beyond my paper and pen in these sacred moments. And I love to write, the actual process versus the completion or end point, which is hard to say about most “obligations” in life.

But, as any writer will say, there are times when I just can’t write, or would rather be doing anything but write. I almost always feel resistance rush through my body as I near the pen and open journal. I don’t consider this resistance to be “writer’s block”; rather, I suffer from a far less glamorous label: fear. Not fear of the actual writing or even the reaction of others to the writing, because to be honest I don’t write in my journal for others; I fear what will happen when I open up to myself.

For so long, I suppressed what I felt, and in retrospect I recognize that this was my survival strategy. I wasn’t ready to process all that I experienced so early in life. Now, everyday, I show up to process whatever travels from pen to paper – and the uncertainty of what will come undone fuels my resistance. So, I give in to that fear, not all the time, but some of the time. I’m not perfect and can’t be strong everyday; however, on most days, I feel that surge of adrenaline masked as fear and decide to walk directly into the ring of fire.

When I make that decision, do I feel strong or empowered? No! I feel anxious and scared, but I don’t let these emotions dictate my actions. Then, as I write, regardless of what I may be wrestling with on paper, the fear, and all of what it comprises, dissolves. I recognize the turn in my emotions, and a little empowered smirk appears on my face.

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Interviews + More

listen to my fun interview with Ana Ottman of Red Dress Studios on her fabulous series, Red Dress Conversations

read about my Style Statement, Structured Innovation, on the Style Statement Blog (find out what one outfit I would wear forever – yup, just one!)

watch the second video on the Law of Attraction on Spring

. . . . .

DISCOVERY SESSIONS: LIMITED AVAILABILITY

… I rarely write in ALL CAPS so you know that this must be important :)! Discovery Sessions are very new and very hot! If you want to work together this summer, jump on over to the Discovery Session page to purchase a package and secure a spot with me. If you have any questions, be sure to send an email sooner rather than later to: carolyn (AT) abeautifulrippleeffect (DOT) com.

Related "ripples" you might enjoy:

  1. Writing without Writing
  2. The Courage to Write: 23 Quotes to Help You Overcome the Fear of Writing
  3. I Am (not) A Writer
  4. Pen & Paper: Overcoming Your Journaling Fears
  5. Pure Bliss: Images to Make You Smile (and lovely giveaway)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 at 6:46 pm and is filed under Authenticity, Creativity & Inspiration, Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

18 Responses to “Between the Mind and the Pen”

  1. Jadyn
    Twitter:
    says:

    Great post and so timely for me Carolyn! Thanks for sharing.

    • Carolyn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Jadyn — I’m so happy you enjoyed my little thoughts on writing! I hesitated before posting it so it’s really helpful to know you related to it in some way.

  2. duff says:

    Thank you for your honesty and openness–my fear paralyzes me for months even though I would love to spend my life writing! I need to meditate on your statement,” For so long, I suppressed what I felt, and in retrospect I recognize that this was my survival strategy.”

    • Carolyn
      Twitter:
      says:

      You are so welcome, dufff. Let me ditto your sentiment and thank you for your authentic comment. And you are not alone, I find fear to be a very strong emotion that can literally make us feel frozen. Since it seems that you WANT to write, and crave that outlet in your life, try dissolving the fear by taking tiny, tiny actions. For example, you could set the intention to focus on selecting a journal to write in (day 1), then how about a favorite pen (day 2), and then write your name in the journal (day 3), then on day 4 reward yourself… reinforce these new actions with something that is filled with pure bliss. Then on day 5, set the intention to write one sentence about that reward experience, “It was amazing.” Three words and you are already moving forward. Yes, these are tiny actions and may seem silly, but by week two of these little actions, you are developing a new mindset towards writing — it’s enjoyable! And you’ll be dissolving the fear by doing what it hates the most: action! You CAN do it!! Check in with me… I would love to hear how you do :).

  3. CheryK says:

    What a beautiful piece. Just reading it is inspiring and uplifting.
    CheryK´s last blog ..A Great Blue Heron on Lake Mary My ComLuv Profile

  4. Ross
    Twitter:
    says:

    Carolyn,

    Love that thought to “walk directly into the ring of fire”. It is taking action that takes away the fear.

    A self empowered smirk. That brought a smile to my face. I need to get some of those :)
    Ross´s last blog ..Taking back the Park for Chelsea King My ComLuv Profile

    • Carolyn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Ross, you are exactly right: action = fear dissolver. It’s free and highly effective!! While I’m not psychic, I see many self empowered smirks in your future :).

  5. Anna
    Twitter:
    says:

    Thanks Carolyn for sharing. For the past few months I have felt a lot of fear of opening up to my blog readers and just kept my own thoughts to myself in my journal. I like what you wrote, “I will not let my emotions dictate my actions”. I need to remember that.
    Anna´s last blog ..Dental Tip My ComLuv Profile

    • Carolyn
      Twitter:
      says:

      I know that feeling well, Anna. I am so far from perfect and am learning these little tactics slowly. I recognize fear now for what it is: a feeling, dictated by a thought. So if our thoughts impact our feelings and our feelings impact our actions… try tackling the thoughts/beliefs behind the fear. What thoughts go through your mind prior to that feeling of fear. Be a detective and grab hold of those limiting beliefs. Then, question them until you can turnaround the thought into one that produces a better feeling than fear. It’s a bit of work, but well worth it. Check the archives for a recent post I wrote about turning around your negative thoughts. You may find it helpful!

  6. Whitney says:

    I feel the same insane resistance right before putting pen to paper as well! It’s scary. But after a few moments it starts to come together. Ok, maybe more than a few moments.

    ps. <3 the "discovery sessions" terminology
    Whitney´s last blog ..Tastes Like Chicken? My ComLuv Profile

    • Carolyn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Merci, Whit! I’ve seen you put pen to paper over and over again and your resistance is invisible. I would never have known! I’ll sit for hours next to you banging my head against the desk (or procrastinating incredibly well, what I believe Twyla Tharp calls scratching…) and you write so much during that time!!

  7. You hit on one of the primary keys to success in any endeavor: Not letting your emotions (particularly fear) dictate your behavior.
    Leisa Watkins | Wealth, Wisdom and Success´s last blog ..Are Your Dreams Guiding You To The Wrong Shore Line? My ComLuv Profile

    • Carolyn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Thank you so much for your comment, Leisa! I think the topic of this post has hit a chord with many readers so I look forward to writing about it more in future posts. Cheers to not letting our emotions dictate our behavior :).

  8. [...] Although I resisted this course with practically every ounce of my being, it is probably the most influential course I ended up taking. It forced me to challenge everything I believed about myself (in particular, sticky labels like “non-writer”) and to overcome my fear of putting pen to paper. [...]

  9. Hey there! I’ve been reading your weblog for a while now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Dallas Tx! Just wanted to mention keep up the great job!

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