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Beautiful people do not just happen.
Note for new readers: Throughout December, I will be posting my personal responses to Reverb11. My posts will be a bit different than usual—more vulnerable, less polished, more frequent, and probably more interesting! However, you can expect some “special” posts during the month as well. If you’re interested in reading more typical content, check out a few of the most popular posts. Regardless of what you’re reading (or not reading), welcome and happy December!
4. Beauty. How have your standards of beauty shifted in the past year?
While reflecting on the topic of beauty, I’ve recognized two common threads: self-confidence and self-compassion. And these two threads are nourished by each other. When I look at a photo of myself, I don’t notice the outfit that I’m wearing or the makeup on my face but rather the expression in my eyes. Did I feel confident in that moment? If so, I see that reflected in the photo and I see beauty. Recently, I’ve also noticed that I receive compliments about random items (e.g., the color of my eye shadow, the pattern on my top) when I am showing up from a place of self-confidence. I think we feed off of one another’s confidence—it has a very positive ripple effect. When I do receive a compliment, I am mindful to say “thank you” rather than belittle the compliment (e.g., “what, you mean this old eye shadow that I got from the bottom of my junk drawer?”).
Over this past year, I’ve noticed the need to infuse more self-compassion into my life. Self-compassion directly impacts my confidence and enables me to remain (mostly) in control of my confidence rather than allow external forces to dictate my current level of confidence.
What I do know: Beauty is complex and deeply personal. Each person sees and feels something different when they look into the mirror. What we see and what we feel doesn’t stem from a number on the scale, the label on our clothes, or the color of our skin.
To say to yourself, “I am beautiful,” is a gift worthy of your attention. To nurture this gift, we must be willing to be vulnerable, to ask ourselves tough questions, to dig deep and give ourselves compassion (especially when we don’t feel that we deserve it), and hold onto our worth with clenched fists.
image: sketch your heart out (modified by me for a beautiful ripple effect)
Related "ripples" you might enjoy:
- The Freedom of Limits
- 4 Layer Reverb Cake
- Ordinary Sparkling Moments 2011
- Practicing Ease
- Nourish Confidence
This entry was posted on Monday, December 5th, 2011 at 6:09 pm and is filed under #reverb11, Authenticity, Defeated, Personal, When You Feel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
14 Responses to “Beautiful people do not just happen.”
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Twitter: kaileenelise
says:
This resonates with me, epecially the part about “showing up from a place of self-confidence.” Thank you for the kind reminder.
Twitter: carolynr
says:
thank you kaileen :)
This is amazing :) Thank you
Twitter: carolynr
says:
thank you so much, alyx. always so hard to know how these more vulnerable posts will be received!!
Showing up from a place of self-confidence: yes, yes, yes. That Elizabeth Kubler-Ross quote has guided me through grief and I treasure it doubly now in the happy times.
Twitter: carolynr
says:
I love love love that quote from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross! so grateful that you connected to this post :)
I love the quote! But I have to say also, I think beauty can come from a place not of self-confidence, but being outside of self, in those moments when we’re not even thinking about ourselves, but just extending outward into love and care for others. I think that’s when we’re beautiful and don’t even know it. The most beautiful people are so conscious of others they are un-conscious of themselves. An art I have yet to master, but try to dabble in. Thanks for your thoughtful posts!
Twitter: carolynr
says:
Really like this way of thinking of beauty, thank you for sharing :).
I love the quote.
I also appreciated this comment:
“Self-compassion directly impacts my confidence and enables me to remain (mostly) in control of my confidence rather than allow external forces to dictate my current level of confidence.”
Self-compassion is something I have to work very hard at. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one and that it’s something important enough to *keep* working at.
Twitter: mentalmosaic
says:
What a beautiful perspective on, well, beauty! :)
~Tui
Twitter: juliejordanscot
says:
Such an important message… when we recognize our beauty – how we define and are comfortable with it… the better we (and the world) will be.
I am grateful for your vulnerability.
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