To live wholeheartedly and authentically requires worthiness. It is an essential ingredient too often overlooked. We are bombarded constantly with thoughts of “not being enough” – primarily working subconsciously. And these undetected thoughts lead us to underestimate ourselves – to feel as if we are in a never ending race (opponent: ourselves). It’s exhausting and self-defeating to let these thoughts remain in control.

As I write this post, I recognize the presence of these thoughts.

- What do I know about worthiness?
- No one cares what I have to say.
- I’m just wasting my time.

These negative thoughts stem from what Martha Beck calls our social self. “The social self is based on principles that often run contrary to our core desires. Its job is to know when those desires will upset other people, and to help us override natural inclinations that aren’t socially acceptable.” She further describes the basic operations of the social self as avoidance-based, conforming, imitative, predictable, planning, and hardworking. The social self is a wonderful navigational tool; however, it must be aligned with our essential self in order to guide us in a positive direction. Your essential self is “… the basic you, stripped of options and special features.…” Its basic operations include attraction-based, unique, inventive, surprising, spontaneous, and playful.

Another way to think of the difference between these two parts of your “self” is to think of your right and left brain. Your left brain is more analytical and critical while your right brain is more creative and carefree. When we act primarily with our left brain, we tend to spiral into a cloud of self-defeating thoughts; however, when we utilize both our left brain and our right brain, we are able to let go of many of the burdens and ideals we place upon ourselves. We have greater clarity and are much better at rationalizing.

The Bottom Line: To believe that you are worthy. To know that you are good enough – regardless of extrinsic circumstances – you must recognize what is causing these thoughts to question your worth. No one measures your self-worth but YOU.

I’ll be worthy if …

Self-defeating thoughts challenge our self-worth. They break down our confidence. They maintain this powerful control until we decide to: (a) mindfully recognize these thoughts and (b) challenge them. These two steps are critical and can’t be reinforced enough within our lives.
: :

In a blog post encouraging individuals to dedicate this week to worthiness, Dr. Brené Brown writes:

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough.

It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.

So many of us have knowingly created / unknowingly allowed / or been handed down a long list of worthiness “prerequisites.”

Here’s what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness:
Worthy NOW! Not when. Not if. We are worthy of love and belonging NOW. Right this minute. As is.
: :

The Take Home Message

Exercise your worthiness muscle.
Remember: You are enough.

Giveaway

To celebrate the release of Brené Brown’s DVD, The Hustle For Worthiness, I am giving away one copy of the DVD! Leave a comment below sharing a simple, positive thought. Comments will be closed Sunday March 14^th at 6 PM EST with the winner posted shortly after.

Wishing you a wonderful week of worthiness!

No related posts.

: : begin : :

… to create from a blank canvas
… to experience
… to take the first step
… to take bold action (“gulp!”)
… to start
… to let go
… to trust yourself

There is beauty in being a beginner.

Fresh

• New video is live on Spring! During the month of March, we are talking about one hot topic: MONEY! The first video (of four) is focused on this question: How do you trust that you can do what you love and the money will follow? And of course, new video = new giveaway. Spend a few minutes relaxing today with Spring – a video conversation with four unique perspectives!

Affirmations

• Affirmations are powerful statements/phrases that help motivate you to take a leap of faith, to trust yourself, and to begin. [Affirmations have many meanings; however, in this context, we'll use the definition above.]
  • Printable Affirmation Gift Set Freebie by Kind Over Matter
  • Create your own affirmation cards. Read: How to Use a Mirror, a Pack of Index Cards and a Pen to Change Your Life

Handmade Inspiration

• Following Dreams – Notecard Set by Christine Mason Miller
• Seedling – A mini seedling sprouting from a planting pot by Do Little Design
• Dreamsetting Kit – One of many inspiring products in the 101Birdtales Shop
• Begin Necklace – Etched Silver Necklace by Lisa Hopkins
• Explore. Dream. Discover. – Print with Mark Twain Quote by Earmark

Inspiring Words

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off your bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

- Mark Twain

Give yourself permission to forge beyond the resistance and BEGIN. Today.

What will you begin today?

{image: Jennifer Morris}

Related posts:

1. Tuesday Treasures: Serene Simplicity
2. Tuesday Treasures: Simple Beauty
3. Tuesday Treasures: Truisms

Learn to pause…or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you.
-Doug King

In our fast-paced, multitasking, day-to-day lives, we often find ourselves adrift in chaos. Within this chaos, finding our inner calm is just as important —actually more so — than completing our next task. It allows us to recharge and breathe just a bit easier. It’s incredible what just five minutes of serenity can do for your energy level and mental state.

Now, think about how you currently deal with chaotic moments in your life. If you would like to change your current response to those chaotic moments, create a serenity trigger that will help you find a peaceful place whenever the need arises. This trigger serves as a reminder for you to take a few minutes away from what you’re doing to find serenity amidst chaos. It could be as simple as an image or a positive word/phrase.

This trigger serves as a personal anchor to help you find serenity and return to it over and over again. It allows you to take time to refresh and refocus. These simple moments of calm will make a difference in both your attitude and energy level.

Take Home Message:

Find serenity amidst chaos by utilizing a serenity trigger. Indulge yourself in the beauty that unfolds within these moments of calm.

An Example:

My primary serenity trigger is an image of a beautiful flower blooming within a simple mason jar. Simple, yet a powerful reminder for me that much like that flower, in order to bloom, I need specific nutrients. One such nutrient: serenity.

What is one of your serenity triggers?

Related posts:

1. 11 Ways to Find Serenity Amidst Chaos
2. How to Create a Positivity Treasury
3. Monday Inspiration: Finding Calm in Chaos

1. My view
Every morning I am greeted by an incredible view of Lake Ontario. Some days are dreary, some are spectacular, but every day greets me with a huge expanse of water and sky. I know anything is possible.

2. My children
They are really remarkable. To have four individuals so completely different from each other, but to have such strong character traits, is exhausting and stimulating. Watching them grow, guiding them through their choices, laughing with them every day, is more than I ever dreamed possible. It is a privilege to be their mama.

3. My morning routine
I wake around 5AM to a steaming cup of coffee and all the goodness to be found on my google reader. I sit in the silence, the room illuminated by the computer screen and absorb all kinds of wonderful words and images from all kinds of creative and thoughtful people from all over the world.

4. Hockey
It never occurred to me that I would spend so much time in a hockey rink. I spend hours upon hours in rinks watching practices and games. It is one example of being pleasantly surprised by the unexpected joy we find in hockey.

5. Order
Inasmuch as I can appreciate the unexpected, order makes me happy! When the stars align and everything has been picked up and put in its place, order restored. It is a rare thing, but it fills me with joy when it happens.

6. Silence
My life is generally chaotic with the comings and goings of the kids and friends, music playing, cellular phones ringing and beeping, the laughter, the fighting, the crazy. I really enjoy the rare moments of silence.

7. White Peonies in my garden
This is the year that I’m going to get my act together and plant an impossible number of white peonies in my garden. Right now I have a few, but not enough. I’m going to make sure that the view out every window includes white peonies.

8. Summers at the beach
For two weeks each summer we head to Cape Cod where our kids enjoy the familiarity of the same location and the wonder of changes from year to year. I can measure their growth by how their interests change and their explorations become more and more independent.

9. Words
I love words; I use them as décor, as tools, as a method for communicating simple and complex thoughts. I love watching them form on paper, on the screen, carved in stone, in conversation.

10. Photography
I have always had a camera in my hand. I used to think I took pretty good photos, but over the last year I’ve put more of an effort into learning the art of light and angles and can really see that my shots are not just lucky, but consistently good.

About Lee

I live a very suburban existence just outside of Toronto, Ontario on the shore of Lake Ontario. I am a very involved mother of our active children: Claire (14), Cole (13); Chloe (10) and Caden (9) and the wife of one entrepreneurial husband, Louis. Never a dull moment in or out of my house: many hours are spent in hockey rinks, in gymnasiums, at ball diamonds, on school grounds, on riverbanks and in auditoriums as parent, spectator and volunteer. Going at a break-neck pace is not always a good thing, so to slow things down and add perspective, I document these events and the more everyday happenings. I want for my kids to look back at their childhoods and there be something to see. My spare time is spent making a mess in my studio, on the computer writing and blogging, and everywhere else playing with my Canon 40D. Enjoying the exploration and figuring out what to do next! Lee’s website is at www.thelinarstudio.typepad.com/embracelife.

Other Posts in the 10 Things That Make Me Happy Series

Leana May Erin Robinson Brandon Ledford Nicola Warwick Joy Meredith Linda Wolf Yael Maxwell Hillary Chybinski Melissa Allam Ross Kinney Carolyn Rubenstein

Related posts:

1. 10 Things That Make Me Happy: Erin Robinson
2. 10 Things That Make Me Happy: Linda Wolf
3. 10 Things That Make Me Happy: Melissa Allam

Fresh

• Brand new episode of Spring is live! This is the final episode focused on the topic of support. Be sure to check out the short video for your chance to win one of the amazing giveaways :). Next topic up for discussion: Money!!
  • Is Support Mandatory for Success?
  • Spring Tweets! Follow Spring on Twitter – @SpringInspire
• As you may have noticed, A Beautiful Ripple Effect is undergoing a little makeover :). I was hoping to have it finished by March 1st (my birthday – big 25!), but got a stomach bug (really bad so I’ve been in bed since Wed night) — so hopefully by March 8th! I hope you enjoy the changes being made to enhance your experience on the blog. I will reveal all the wonderful people working on the changes next week – an amazing team of very talented individuals!

Treasures

• Online Inspiration
  • Papernstitch – A curated collection of simple, handmade goods
    • A Few Personal Favorites
      • drika. b – original, colorful, hip and practical handbags and pouches
      • Joo Joo – original illustrations bursting with color and natural life
      • The Sunday Times Market – Finds for the Vintage Minded. Serendipitous vintage, mid century and Danish modern housewares and furniture.
      • Children Inspire Design – Features eco friendly art, stationary and children’s gifts all created from using designs from original collage art made with salvaged paper. Some featured products include art prints, limited edition reproductions on canvas, wall cards and stationary.
  • A Field Journal – A blog that is a “beautiful compilation of all things old fashioned, timeless, simple and lovely.”
  • Trend Spotting :: 5 Minimalist Banners (Tara Gentile’s blog: write well, create often.)
    • I found this amazing post from one of my favorite blogs, Up Up by Julie Green – Julie’s banner was included (Congratulations, Julie!!)
  • Leo Babauta – The individual synonymous with embracing the simplicity in life and helping others (just a few… million) to do the same
• Inspiration for Turning Knowledge into Action
  • Simplify101 Workshops: Amazing online workshops focused on simplifying the complex, finding the beauty within our spaces, and acknowledging the simple beauty that exists in our lives everyday
  • The wish*full Virtual Art Retreat (Spring 2010 – Sign Up by March 31st, 2010!)

Inspiring Words

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

- Leonardo da Vinci

What simplicities are you treasuring this week?

{image: The Sunday Times Market}

Related posts:

1. Tuesday Treasures: Serene Simplicity
2. Tuesday Treasures: Goals
3. Tuesday Treasures: Begin.

When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability…To be alive is to be vulnerable.
-Madeleine L’Engle

Embracing vulnerability is one of the toughest challenges. Being vulnerable means accepting the unknown and uncontrollable. The protective walls of “perfection” are removed. And our authentic self  is fully present. While one of the greatest challenges, embracing vulnerability is also one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.

With all the pain and challenges in life, it would seem foolhardy to encourage vulnerability.  However, there are benefits to allowing yourself to be open to the unknown and accepting your inability to handle every situation by yourself.

Take a moment to think of a time that you were vulnerable.

Perhaps it was the moment when you first told someone that you loved them?  Or maybe it was the last time you experienced problems with your health?  Chances are you were apprehensive (or just plain scared) about the outcome.  Will the person you love feel the same about you?  Will your illness be treatable?  While these events leave you open to harm, they can turn out to be positive experiences.  Consider the satisfaction of knowing that you are loved in return!  Imagine your joy when you learn that you will recover!

If however your vulnerability leaves you wounded, there are still lessons to be learned.  Emotional and physical pain can often be the impetus for positive personal change and improvement.  In addition, you will likely find yourself surrounded by an unexpected and kindly support system that you may not have realized existed.

Being vulnerable requires trust and faith that, despite the outcome, you will be changed. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness.  Letting your guard down and opening yourself up to whatever comes is a testament of true strength.

Don’t deny your vulnerability – embrace it. It is proof that you are a caring, involved, and strong individual!

I am not a person who likes to be viewed as vulnerable – I usually prefer to be a portrait of strength, stability, and independence. My experiences, however, have taught me that there are times that it is necessary and beneficial to let down my defenses and allow myself to be loved by my support system.
-Jamie Saunders (Perseverance)

• Thought-Provoking Questions
  • How do you embrace your vulnerability?
  • What words do you associate with “vulnerable?”
  • What lessons have you learned about vulnerability?
  • Do you feel that crying is a sign of strength or weakness?
  • Do you fear feeling vulnerable?

Related posts:

1. What I Don't Know for Sure
2. Are the odds in your favor?
3. The Art of Forgiveness

1. Irish Snug Running Club

The Irish Snug is a free running club that meets on Thursday nights for a social 5K run. After each run the Snug serves free pasta and salad to all of the runners. The highlight of each run is the running shirt ceremony where a runner that has completed ten runs received a free and highly coveted Irish Snug technical running shirt. I look forward to running with my daughter Laura, her boyfriend Nate and the occasional run with my great nephew Keegan. Keegan (3 years old) is one run away from receiving his running shirt. I treasure each one of these runs with Laura.

2. Drinking Ice Tea at Panera

I love the atmosphere at Panera Bread. I enjoy taking my laptop or a book to Panera and I can sit there for hours just surfing the internet or reading a book or the newspaper. The food is awesome, the staff is always friendly. It is a great way to spend a Saturday morning.

3. Playing golf with my son

Adam and I played together in a scramble golf tournament last summer and on one hole, he just pounded the ball past me and the other two people in our foursome. It was a really a special time for me to see him surpass me. I was much older before I could out drive my Dad. It is just awesome for me to see what an outstanding young man he is becoming.

4. Sunrise

Sunrise is my favorite time of the day. I love being able to watch the sunrise when I am out running. Every sunrise brings the promise of a new day filled with limitless possibilities.

5. Snowshoeing

I just started snowshoeing last year. It is another great way of spending time outdoors and it is a great way to spend time with my family.

6. High school cross country meets

I have a colleague at work whose daughter runs cross country for Columbine High School. I love going to watch her run and the best part to watch is the last 100 yards of the race. These kids don’t leave anything at all out on the field. What would our lives be like if we lived that way. Simply inspiring to watch!

7. Furry Scurry

This is one of our favorite activities to do together as a family. We have been going this event which benefits the Denver Dumb Friends League since 1989. We have adopted many of our pets from this shelter. I have so many great memories of doing this with my children while they were growing up.

In the photo above, Rocky shows off his mad skillz at the obstacle course in 2008.

8. Finding inspiration

I have many friends that I have met in the blogging community who inspire me, make me laugh, and brighten my day. Heather (at Run Faster Mommy) and Katye (at Long Legs on the Loose) are both doing great things in the fight against cancer. Christine (at Train, Don’t Tri) shares simply beautiful thoughts about her faith and living. I always stop by to see what they are up to.

9. Being of service

One of the great joys in my life is the volunteer work that I do for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I love doing whatever I can to provide support and hope to anyone that is touched by cancer.

I have run 16 marathons for my dear friend and now my angel Kelly. She continues to bring joy, love and light to my life.

10. My family

I have been blessed to have a life with my family, Sue, Laura and Adam. Sue and I have been married for almost 27 years and she continues to amaze me each and every day. Laura and Adam are both amazing young people. They are so devoted to their cousin Keegan and to each other.

About Ross

I live and work in Colorado. The biggest passion in my life is my volunteer work for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I love the challenge of endurance training. I have run 16 marathons, completed 3 century rides and the Triple Bypass. I also enjoy playing golf with my son, running 5K’s with my daughter and spending time with my wife and best friend Sue. I live with three crazy dogs and one very mean and angry cat. Ross blogs at www.run4kelly.blogspot.com.

Other Posts in the 10 Things That Make Me Happy Series

Leana May Erin Robinson Brandon Ledford Nicola Warwick Joy Meredith Linda Wolf Yael Maxwell Hillary Chybinski Melissa Allam

Related posts:

1. 10 Things That Make Me Happy: Brandon Ledford
2. 10 Things That Make Me Happy: Nicola Warwick
3. 10 Things That Make Me Happy: Lee Currie

Fresh

• Excited to announce a brand new component of Spring – Sprout Out Loud! We tap awesome writers, bloggers, and creative individuals to weigh in on a question addressed in one of our weekly videos. Our first guest is amazing: Jessica Schroeder from What I Wore discusses non-supporters.
  • Sprout Out Loud: Jessica from What I Wore on Non-Supporters
  • Spring Tweets! Follow Spring on Twitter – @SpringInspire
• New post on Psychology Today – I Am (not) Good Enough: Three Ways to Battle This Feeling

Treasures

• Visual Inspiration
  • Goal and Intention Kit by Jess Gonacha Swift
  • Define your business goals through super fun and creative exercises – Right-Brain Business Plan by Jenn Lee
  • The 5 Book by Dan Zadra – The 5 book is your “playbook for life.” It features thought-provoking quotations and real-life examples to serve as both a spark and a road map for what’s exciting in your life. [Be sure to watch the video that accompanies the book on the website!]
  • Free planners are available for download on Productive Flourishing – be sure to check out the rest of the blog, blogger Charlie Gilkey is a productivity genius.
• Online Inspiration
  • If you ran the world, what would you do? – Well start by joining this amazing experiment, IfWeRanTheWorld
  • Happy New You! – a creative online workshop
  • State your goal! List your goals on 43 Things (and check out the other goals – what’s most popular – really fun!)

Inspiring Words

“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.”

- Frank A. Clark

What are you treasuring this week?

{image: artsyville}

Related posts:

1. Tuesday Treasures: Truisms
2. Tuesday Treasures: Oh Ten!
3. Tuesday Treasures: Simple Beauty

For the past few weeks, I’ve been focusing on “Moving Forward.” Lost in my thoughts – relishing the quiet solitude. I’ve filled journals with realizations and “aha!” experiences; however, a major void has existed. I’ve begun to analyze too much — to try to find all of the answers to the “big life questions.”

Is it my upcoming birthday – turning 25?

Am I resisting the thought of celebration?

Questions after question.

I question my ability to live up to what I’ve accomplished in the past 10 years. Yet, at the same time, I fear falling back into that trap of living in a state of constant pressure – extreme sadness – and giving everything within me to others. I wonder how much is left within me to give to myself.

I’ve retreated to a place of creation – imagination – dreaming. This place scares me. It’s completely new to me. And I feel like I lack the *magic* ingredient to make these dreams become real. For the first time, I’m questioning my ability to turn ideas into reality. I’m comparing myself to others (rationally, I know I shouldn’t do this, but I do anyway).

It’s in between the moments that I capture this self-doubt invading my mental sanctuary.

I have come to one realization: I must believe in myself. I am the only person who can realize what I need and want. It’s okay to be uncertain. It’s not okay to devalue who I am as an individual – my potential. If I can believe in others, I better believe in myself. That is my primary responsibility.

I am human just like everyone else. I have amazing moments and heartbreaking moments. But it’s in between those moments that I’m learning the most about life.

I’m uncovering gems that will stay with me forever, even though the process is far from comfortable. But I expected this time to come – just not now. I’m growing up. I’m finding out who I am. I’m preparing for the next chapter in my life – a chapter very different from what I’ve known. I chose this road and am not steering off course. It’s worth the discomfort because I do believe in myself.

It’s this story I want to share – the 3 am thoughts that can feel so isolating – the in between moments that tell the whole story, the authentic version. It’s these hard to define pieces that are so needed to challenge ourselves to push harder on the road to uncovering our true selves.

“Letting go of an old self and the deeply-ingrained patterns embedded there is hard.  HARD.  But it is only by facing these patterns, issues, questions and fears that real growth is possible, and beyond what is hard, bright horizons await….We will always struggle.  There will always be storms.  But there will also always be days of magnificent sunshine.   And we will feel the warmth and glow of that light more deeply on our skin and in our bones the more we are willing to do the work we are called upon to do, work that just might have been waiting for us since the day we were born.” – Christine Mason Miller, Bright Horizons

Related posts:

1. Why our Darkest Moments Unveil the Beauty of Life
2. Ordinary Sparkling Moments
3. The Bright Side

1. Chai Tea Lattes from Starbucks
I love tea, but one drink I would drink everyday if I could would be a Chai tea latte made with soy milk from Starbucks. The spicy smell and taste get me going in the morning. {image via A Traveling Journeyer}

2. My dogs Roca and Ruby
Every morning they lay on the sofa in the office next to my computer and keep me company. They greet me with joy everyday and they are never in a bad mood.

3. Chocolate
There is a lot of good chocolate out there, but whenever I need it, the good ole Hershey’s candy bar can always be found at my local grocery store.

4. The ocean
It is my favorite body of water. I love the sound of the waves as they rush in and out. I love the way the water feels when it washes over my feet, and the sand under my toes. I love that it is massive and great and is a vibrant living world for creatures great and small.

5. Being creative
I am an interior designer and have decorated for events as well. There’s nothing like decorating for a party. When it all comes together in the end, there is great joy and satisfaction in making an atmosphere of fun for others.

6. Balloons
No matter where I am, when I see balloons, I see parties and a fun time, and they make me smile. {image via amorphity}

7. Summer garden roses
There is nothing like the smell and color of a rose from your own garden.

8. The color aqua
This color is like a living vibrant color for me. It reminds me of water, which is a representation of life. We would’nt have life without water.

9. Home
It is my place of comfort, security, permanence and stability. I know I am loved there.

10. Blogging
I have enjoyed posting about things that inspire me and making friends along the way who enjoy the same things that I do.

About Melissa

I live and work in Washington State (USA). I am a wife, mother and interior designer. I love to create and design. I get my best ideas in the shower, it’s a good place for your mind to just run wild. I’m a very visual person. Pictures float around my brain like crazy and words often take a back seat, but I can get pretty deep with words when the inspiration strikes. I realized that I really enjoy event design last year when my friends kept asking me to decorate for their events and celebrations. I’m starting my own business this year for interior and event design.

Melissa’s blog is Design Delights.

Other Posts in the 10 Things That Make Me Happy Series

Leana May Erin Robinson Brandon Ledford Nicola Warwick Joy Meredith Linda Wolf Yael Maxwell Hillary Chybinski

Related posts:

1. 10 Things That Make Me Happy: Lee Currie
2. 10 Things That Make Me Happy: Ross Kinney
3. 10 Things That Make Me Happy: Nicola Warwick