Note for new readers: Throughout December, I will be posting my personal responses to Reverb11. My posts will be a bit different than usual—more vulnerable, less polished, more frequent, and probably more interesting! However, you can expect some “special” posts during the month as well. If you’re interested in reading more typical content, check out a few of the most popular posts. Regardless of what you’re reading (or not reading), welcome and happy December!
7. Giving. “The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The meaning of life is to give your gift away.” (David Viscott) What is your gift to give?
About a week ago, I read a post by Jessica Nichols on her blog, Sweet Eventide, entitled: Jessica takes a Sabbatical. Jessica’s words resonated strongly with me, but there was one line in particular that I related to the most. Sharing these words and this feeling is not something I feel comfortable doing, but am willing to do so anyway since I think it’s a sentiment rarely acknowledged aloud.
I give and I give and I give.
And as Jessica acknowledges in her post, giving unconditionally leaves you completely drained. Because when you give so freely, people forget to ask and just take and take and take. You lose your equilibrium and suddenly you’re no longer in control of your gift.
My “gift” is very difficult to define since it has no tangible presence. I didn’t even begin to discover my gift until after graduating from college. Prior to this discovery period, I gave my gift away without even realizing. I was not mindful of what I was giving at the time.
I won’t claim to know that I’ve got my “gift” fully figured out, even after years of discovery; however, I am consciously recognizing more and more of what I have to give to others.
My gift: intellectual curiosity aimed at solving the puzzles of ordinary and extraordinary suffering coupled with a fierce determination to alleviate suffering in the lives of people that cross my path. While I may be book smart, I have learned that my intuition is far more valuable than any knowledge learned from a book. This intuition is my strongest gift and the variable that enables me to solve problems and alleviate suffering.
In the past, I’ve tried to force myself to value knowledge (i.e., lessons from books or the words of “experts”) over intuition. And I did a good job at letting knowledge dictate my direction rather than intuition—most of the time. However, when my intuition did win over knowledge, I created miraculous gifts like a non-profit organization that awarded over 100 college scholarships or a book that celebrates turning fear into hope at the most difficult of times. And those are just the tangible products, it’s really the intangible products, the experiences and moments that are the priceless byproducts of following my intuition.
Trusting my intuition isn’t easy and often challenges the status quo. However, I realize that if this intuition were nourished rather than belittled, I would be able to give far more than I could imagine and create even greater change in the lives of others. I am beginning to understand that not protecting my gift would be selfish.
…
These words feel raw and unfinished. I’ve written the above sentences at least three different times—each time trying to find clarity between the lines. However, these words and feelings are unfinished in real time. I’m still within the cocoon of discovery.
image: sweet eventide (support jessica’s gift by purchasing an item from her etsy store)
At so many points in our lives and especially mine at this point in time, I find myself “not knowing” much more than usual. I’m in a period of transition after some time spent really grounding myself away from my 