Brené Brown « A Beautiful Ripple Effect

Posts Tagged ‘Brené Brown’

The Hustle for Worthiness

March 11th, 2010 | 30 Comments »

To live wholeheartedly and authentically requires worthiness. It is an essential ingredient too often overlooked. We are bombarded constantly with thoughts of “not being enough” – primarily working subconsciously. And these undetected thoughts lead us to underestimate ourselves – to feel as if we are in a never ending race (opponent: ourselves). It’s exhausting and self-defeating to let these thoughts remain in control.

As I write this post, I recognize the presence of these thoughts.

- What do I know about worthiness?
- No one cares what I have to say.
- I’m just wasting my time.

These negative thoughts stem from what Martha Beck calls our social self. “The social self is based on principles that often run contrary to our core desires. Its job is to know when those desires will upset other people, and to help us override natural inclinations that aren’t socially acceptable.” She further describes the basic operations of the social self as avoidance-based, conforming, imitative, predictable, planning, and hardworking. The social self is a wonderful navigational tool; however, it must be aligned with our essential self in order to guide us in a positive direction. Your essential self is “… the basic you, stripped of options and special features.…” Its basic operations include attraction-based, unique, inventive, surprising, spontaneous, and playful.

Another way to think of the difference between these two parts of your “self” is to think of your right and left brain. Your left brain is more analytical and critical while your right brain is more creative and carefree. When we act primarily with our left brain, we tend to spiral into a cloud of self-defeating thoughts; however, when we utilize both our left brain and our right brain, we are able to let go of many of the burdens and ideals we place upon ourselves. We have greater clarity and are much better at rationalizing.

The Bottom Line: To believe that you are worthy. To know that you are good enough – regardless of extrinsic circumstances – you must recognize what is causing these thoughts to question your worth. No one measures your self-worth but YOU.

I’ll be worthy if …

Self-defeating thoughts challenge our self-worth. They break down our confidence. They maintain this powerful control until we decide to: (a) mindfully recognize these thoughts and (b) challenge them. These two steps are critical and can’t be reinforced enough within our lives.
: :

In a blog post encouraging individuals to dedicate this week to worthiness, Dr. Brené Brown writes:

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough.

It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.

So many of us have knowingly created / unknowingly allowed / or been handed down a long list of worthiness “prerequisites.”

I’ll be worthy when I lose 20 pounds.

I’ll be worthy if I get pregnant.

I’ll be worthy if everyone thinks I’m a good mom.

I’ll be worthy if I can make a living selling my art.

I’ll be worthy if I can hold my marriage together.

I’ll be worthy when I make partner.

I’ll be worthy when I can do it all and look like I’m not even trying.

and so on . . .

Here’s what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness:
Worthy NOW! Not when. Not if. We are worthy of love and belonging NOW. Right this minute. As is.
: :

The Take Home Message

Exercise your worthiness muscle.
Remember: You are enough.

Giveaway

To celebrate the release of Brené Brown’s DVD, The Hustle For Worthiness, I am giving away one copy of the DVD! Leave a comment below sharing a simple, positive thought. Comments will be closed Sunday March 14^th at 6 PM EST with the winner posted shortly after.

Wishing you a wonderful week of worthiness!

Update: Sunday March 14th

–> Giveaway Recipient (chosen via random.org): Giulietta the Muse

Thank you so much to everyone who commented. I am so grateful that you shared such beautiful, authentic thoughts on A Beautiful Ripple Effect.

Tags: Brené Brown, Martha Beck, The Hustle for Worthiness
Posted in: Authenticity, Treasure Chest

A New Beginning

October 21st, 2009 | 4 Comments »

She decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language. And birds fluttered around her, writing “yes” in the sky. It is here where she must begin to tell her story.

-Monique Duval, Compendium

A month ago, I felt stuck in a stressful place. It was as if my internal drive just stalled and I wanted to hit play and move forward, but couldn’t find a way to do it.

Although I wanted to return to “normal” as soon as possible, I learned to accept this time as another phase in my personal journey.

I finally realized that I no longer live according to a guidebook – it’s scary, but wonderful! I’ve learned so much over the past month and can’t wait to share little snippets with you!

A few words and phrases from my journal over the past month:

Patience.
Let go of excessively high standards.
Accept failure (the extrinsic kind — not being good enough in someone else’s eyes).
Allow new dreams to bloom.
Keep it simple.
Believe.
One thing at a time.
Grateful.
I am loved.
Dance in the rain.
Embrace quiet moments.
Begin.

I’m convinced that owning our story and loving ourselves through the process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.

-Brené Brown, Ph.D.

What word or phrase is important to you?

We all have the ability to wake up and create a new beginning. Write Yes and Believe in You.

image by Gabrielle Kai

Tags: Authenticity, Brené Brown, Compendium, Gabrielle Kai, Inspiration
Posted in: Authenticity, Personal

10 Inspirational People Who Have Redefined the Road to Success (Part Two)

July 27th, 2009 | 6 Comments »

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

- Steve Jobs

I believe that each person has the potential to transform the lives of others. Often, we can change the life of someone else without even knowing it and those who do so are the true change-makers. Now, I’ll introduce you to four people who have transformed my life, helped me redefine “success,” and nudged me toward the path I need to take to get there.

–> Redefining Courage: From Living Authentically to Giving Wholeheartedly

Brené Brown, Ph.D.

Authenticity is a daily practice. Living authentically means cultivating the courage to be emotionally honest, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of light and darkness, strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we let go of who we are supposed to be and embrace who we are. Authenticity demands wholehearted living and loving—even when it’s hard, even when it hurts, and especially when we are wrestling with the shame and fear of ‘not being enough.’ Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives.”

- Brené Brown, Ph.D.

When I first read this quote, I remember feeling as if someone was inside my head, someone who knew exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment. Of course, as a psychology student, I had read countless times about being authentic and about the concept of authenticity but still, it never really seemed to click. Somehow, I related to this quote, and it became a guidepost along my journey of self-discovery.

Through Brené Brown’s book, I thought It Was Just me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth about Perfection, Inadequacy, and Power, and her blog, “Ordinary Courage,” I have gained the knowledge that allows me to make the conscious choices that reflect my decision to choose authenticity.

Some examples of choosing authenticity:

Learn to say no. Stand up for yourself even if doing so means the consequences may not be so great.
Remind yourself that you hold the key to your dreams. Own your dreams! No one else can decide how your life should be lived.
Choose to protect your character rather than your image. You can’t control how others view you, but you can control how you view yourself.

What I admire most about Brené Brown is her unique ability to combine her passions with her profession. She is a mom, researcher, writer, and activist, and she certainly doesn’t fit into the typical box fashioned for any of these careers—and Brené is more than happy with that. You can read her full story here.

Follow Brené on Twitter!

Jackie Waldman

We all have something to give, no matter what. That’s the courage-the courage to step out of our own lives, even when we think we can’t, and step into the life of someone else. When we find the courage to give to someone else, sharing what we love to do and making a difference for someone else, that’s when we can begin to live joyfully, no matter what.”

- Jackie Waldman

I am grateful to know Jackie. In fact, Jackie is even more caring than any story can possibly portray. She volunteers her time to help select the recipients of CCC’s college scholarship program.

And why is Jackie so unbelievable? Here’s a little snippet…

Jackie’s Story (read the full text on her Web site):

Jackie was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) in 1991. Afterward, she went through a period of depression before deciding that she could make a difference in others’ lives.

“She thought about how she was treating herself and those she loved, and she realized that true survival was not whether her legs worked. ‘True survival was about how we treat each other—about love and acts of kindness, no matter what.’ Suddenly, her pity party ended…Eager to share the power of giving, she decided to compile a book of true stories to inspire others to have the courage to give. Her first book, The Courage to Give, tells 30 stories of people who have had something happen to them physically and/or emotionally, yet when they started helping others, their lives changed miraculously.”

Jackie is also on Oprah’s Angel Network and writes an article called, Begin with Yourself. I love how Jackie discusses volunteering as something that must begin within rather than being an activity that is purely extrinsic. In short, she is an utterly remarkable woman, who is changing the world through her own experience with MS—her words, her books, and most importantly, her actions.

–> Creating a Life You Love: From Creating the Space to Grow to Awakening Your Inner Muse

Aby Garvey

When it comes to space and creating a sense of calm, Aby Garvey dominates the domain. I “met” Aby a couple of years ago, and she has really helped me simplify my life—and get more done at the same time. The most important lesson I’ve learned thus far is to prioritize. It’s an ongoing process, which is much more valuable than just “organizing stuff.” Re-prioritizing my life has allowed me to create the space I need to grow and explore new areas in my life. Without creating space, that kind of exploration is almost impossible.

But I’m even more inspired by what Aby has created in the past several years: an online community unlike any other. Through her online workshops, individuals create bonds that transform their inner lives and resolve their external clutter. The workshops are true transformation classes, which essentially is the process of unraveling the layers of your life that may have created those piles you’ve placed so neatly (or not) on your desk. Aby’s classes are wonderful experiences, and it is a true joy when I’m able to participate in them.

I could devote an entire series of posts to Aby but for now, I’ll leave you with a link that will take you to Simplify 101. That way, you’ll have the chance to begin your own discovery of Aby and Simplify 101.

Follow Aby on Twitter!

Jennifer Lee

I found Jenn via The Next Chapter: Wreck This Journal. She was an A+ wrecker, so I spent some time on her Web site. Soon enough, I was simply in awe. One statement I found on her site really spoke to me: “walking the talk.” In short, it was a huge wake-up call. In one night, I reflected more deeply about my life than ever before. Jenn utilizes creative methods to explore and nourish the inner you, and the approach is wonderful for people like me who tend to get stuck in their analytical left-brain mode. Engaging the right brain is quite powerful and really can add incredible balance to your life.

Notably, Jenn found success through unconventional methods. It’s inspiring to know that there are countless incredible people in the world who simply did not decide at age three what they were going to do in life. Sometimes “growing up” is a long and winding road, but that’s called evolving as a person. And personally, that long, winding road sounds a lot more interesting than a straight path from A to B!

More about Jenn:
“Jennifer Lee is the founder of Artizen Coaching. As a certified coach, artist, writer and yogini, she inspires you to awaken your inner muse and to live life in full color…. By incorporating creative elements like visualization, movement, collage and book arts, she helps you tap into your greatest potential and live your most authentic, full life. Jennifer is known for her creative, compassionate, collaborative and intuitive style as well as for being focused on accountability and delivering results.”

You can read more about Jenn’s personal journey on her Web site and blog!

Follow Jenn on Twitter!

Future Directions
Unconventional Success is quite an interesting topic – full of inspiration! We began this little mini-series with the 3 Essential Ingredients for Creating Unconventional Success. And now, we have looked at 10 individuals who have redefined the path to success (see Part One for the first six individuals). These posts establish a strong foundation for better understanding unconventional success.

We’ll return back to this topic in a couple of weeks and explore how to use this foundation to start thinking about the “what” – what do you want to create, what are your dreams? Then, it’s on to ingredient two of creating unconventional success: redefining the “how” to get what you want!

Get excited! Remember, nothing is required other than a willingness to reach deep inside yourself to find the strength you need to follow your dreams.

Create Unconventional Success
-> 3 Essential Ingredients for Creating Unconventional Success
-> 10 Inspirational People Who Have Redefined the Road to Success (Part One)
-> 10 Inspirational People Who Have Redefined the Road to Success (Part Two)

Tags: Aby Garvey, Artizen Coaching, Authenticity, Brené Brown, Courage to Give, Jackie Waldman, Jennifer Lee, Simplify101, Unconventional Success
Posted in: Creativity & Inspiration, Goals & Productivity

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing: 10 Sources of Inspiration

April 14th, 2009 | 21 Comments »

… image via kristybee on etsy …

Do you have tools that you rely on for inspiration? Whether you want to write a private journal entry or a public blog post, how do you get inspired?

While waiting for that moment of creative genius to hit and for this blog post to spill onto paper, I became aware of “inspiration mode.” I never consciously realized this mode before today. I think this mode is actually pretty common. It’s the lull filled with things that make you happy – make you feel creative and inspired – and of course, make you feel ready to conquer the world!

I had planned to write about something a bit more structured today: inspiration boards. I won’t be talking about “inspiration boards” directly today, but I want to talk about “inspiration” in general, which is a great introduction to the topic of inspiration boards. I suppose this is a more natural beginning for a series of posts on inspiration boards. In order to begin discussing the broad topic of inspiration boards, one must have a good handle on general inspiration, which differs for each individual. So today, I am going to discuss 10 sources of inspiration that I personally use over and over again.

• • •

The Basics:
What is inspiration?
(Noun) The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative. [Oxford American Dictionary]
Ponder this question, what does inspiration mean to you?
Need some help: check out this great online resource – Creative Something: Inspiring your Creativity. One Idea at a Time.

I define inspiration in terms of the energy I get from a source. Is it positive or negative? Is it creative energy? Is it motivating… and so on? That is how I start. What do I gravitate towards (rather than away)? What do I enjoy and feel almost guilty for doing? It’s in these sources that I typically feel less cognitive strain and more creative thinking. It feels good. It feels fun. It doesn’t feel like work!

• • •

While, sitting, waiting, and wishing…

1) Music. Quick Burst of Inspiration.
Create short playlists (about 5 songs) that you can listen to for a quick burst of inspiration. You may want to create different types of playlists for different types of inspiration. Do you need a song that makes you feel like writing, like working out, like focusing… and so on. Create a playlist that lasts approximately 15 minutes that you have ready to listen to whenever needed.

I am loving Susannah Conway’s playlists on her blog, Ink on my Fingers.

2) Quotes. Words that Define your Mood.

Quotes are a fantastic source of inspiration; in particular, quotes that you refer to over and over again – the ones that are memorized and repeated multiple times a day. I usually find quotes organically while reading a book or an article. They jump out at me. I usually relate with the feeling that the quote describes or feel inspired by the words themselves. And then they stick. If you tend to love quotes, but don’t have a way of keeping track of them see below for a few ideas.

Write quotes in a little journal or notebook — designate an entire notebook to quotes or just a few pages of your daily planning notebook. It doesn’t need to be super organized — just nice to have them in one spot to locate later.
Put quotes up on an inspiration board. I put up my most frequently used quotes.
Store quotes in text documents according to different categories (e.g., books, moods, or any other categorization method).
Store quotes in an old-fashioned Rolodex. I recently started to do this and love the flexibility of having this paper method. I jot down new quotes on a little piece of paper and add them into my file. The Rolodex I use is super cute, which makes it more approachable (rather than a paper system that I will quickly abandon).

3) Photos. Images that tell a Breathtaking Story.

… “Posy” by Susannah Conway (2008) …

Photography is a beautiful source of inspiration – looking at photos and/or taking your own photos. I find wonderful photographs through flickr and etsy. My favorite photographs are by Susannah Conway. Susannah writes, “Each of my photographs is my attempt to unravel the world around me, to see the beauty in all things.” Other incredible photographers with online portfolios to browse: Alicia Bock, Jennifer Causey, Yvette Inufio, Honeytree, and of course, Danielle Anthony!

You can look at photos online and/or order prints from individual photographers to create your own inspiring collection.

4) Journaling. Otherwise known as Writing Therapy.
I recently started keeping a personal journal. I didn’t realize the therapeutic benefits of journaling until I started my own. I typically journal before I go to sleep about whatever is on my mind at the time. Some of my best ideas are jotted down in that journal. It’s where I keep those random ideas for “someday.” Little diagrams of how I see an idea evolving or the steps needed to make an idea concrete. I stick magazine clippings into it as well – so it’s a whole big journal of personal thoughts and ideas that have sparked creative energy within me.

5) An Inspiration Board. Make me Happy!

… image of my first inspiration board, Make Me Happy! …

This inspiration board is on the wall above my desk. It was my *first* inspiration board. It sat for about a month with a single post-it note in the center that says: Make Me Happy! I wanted a board that “made me happy.” And so that is how I started — my first creative venture. I’m starting my third inspiration board now on a different theme: A Beautiful Ripple Effect! I’m having a ton of fun brainstorming ideas for it and creating different projects. It’s a blank canvas and a wonderful source of inspiration. I also create mini inspiration boards for my mini personal organizer — love the idea of a portable inspiration board! It contains quotes, images, thoughts, and goals.

6) Books. A Treasury of Inspiring Words.

I have a collection of about 15 books that I keep in my office all together. I have read these books multiple times and refer to them over and over again for inspiration. I have them close by and can always find exactly what I need in one of them. Some of the books include: I Thought it was Just Me (but it isn’t) by Brene Brown, Ordinary Sparkling Moments by Christine Mason Miller, The Organized and Inspired Scrapbooker by Aby Garvey, The Power of Less by Leo Babauta, Domino: The Book of Decorating, Presentation Zen: Simple Ideas on Presentation Design and Delivery by Garr Reynolds, Mindfulness by Ellen Langer and other inspiring reads.

7) Blogs by Inspiring Bloggers/Writers. Simple Bites of Inspiration.

I may be biased, but I find blogs to be a great source of inspiration. In particular, I love blogs with a personal touch — typos, humor, less than perfect grammar, real world examples, and so on. Sometimes I need a blog with very few words (eye candy blogs), but most of the time I’m looking for inspiring articles to give me that creative edge. Reading a blog article is much more than just reading — you are given the key to a community of other readers interested in the same material. Within the comments, you can often find even more inspiration and community chit chat.

Some of my favorite blogs include: When I Grow Up, UpUp Creative, Decor8, Real Simple: Simply Stated, Treasuring, Made by Girl, Creative Thursday, Christine Mason Miller, Makeunder My Life, Annechovie, Creative Organizing, Melissa Loves, Ink on my Fingers, Ordinary Courage, Think Simple Now, Write to Done, and Zen Habits.

8) Anything Family. And that includes Ben and Lila Rose!

Just thinking about my family and how much we love each other leaves me feeling incredibly happy, creative (and inspired)! I’m also inspired by how much each member of my family has done — from the little stuff to the really really big stuff. I’m proud of my mom, my dad, my sister, and my brother. We are all so different yet so driven to reach our dreams. Whenever I feel like something is too big for me to do, I think about what my parents did on their own. I know their story — and I know that at the end of the day being parents was their top priority. They taught me that you can do it all. It’s hard, but it’s possible. I could ramble on and on about them — that’s what it feels like (for me) to be inspired.

9) A Beautiful Ripple Effect. Inspiration grows stronger as it is linked from one individual to another.

How can I describe this source of inspiration without the quote by Christine Mason Miller — not possible! I think I share this quote about every other post or so — have you memorized it yet?

10) Care. Commit. Change.® Inspired by others who care about a cause and commit to creating change.

Which artists are committed to creating change? Who inspires me? Well, I created an event just to answer this question! And it began TODAY!!! So exciting!! We already have 700 applicants for our scholarship program this year – which is the largest applicant pool we’ve had ever – and probably the largest applicant pool for college scholarships for young adult cancer survivors (anywhere) so we are hoping that this online auction will help us support these individuals in their quest to go to college.

Why support young adult cancer survivors when everyone is feeling the strain of the economy? Take that strain being felt by everyone and multiply it by at least 10. And that is what is felt by young adult cancer survivors, many are hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical debt. College is not a possibility — ever. We are changing that through our college scholarship program and by providing *hope* that people (like you and me) believe in them. Should the cost of surviving cancer be the loss of a college education? Absolutely not. Help me — Help them. The auction will end on Friday April 24th. 100% of every dollar donated (every dollar used to purchase an item in this auction) will go directly towards a college scholarship for a young adult cancer survivor. [Update: Auction is complete. Thank you!]

Tags: Aby Garvey, Brené Brown, CCC, Christine Mason Miller, Creative, Domino Magazine, Ellen Langer, Garr Reynolds, Leo Babauta, Mindfulness, The Power of Less, When I Grow Up
Posted in: Creativity & Inspiration, Tips + Techniques, Top Posts

An Imperfect Ten: Inspired by the Beauty of Imperfection

March 16th, 2009 | 10 Comments »

… Image by Cathy Nichols (Sanctuary) …

(1) Effortless Perfection: Is it For You?

During the fall semester of my freshman year at Duke University, an article was published anonymously in our school newspaper. I think everyone can relate to this article on a different level.

While published in the newspaper at Duke, the issue of effortless perfection is evident on college campuses across the nation as well as almost every neighborhood. This article reminds me to strive for what makes me happy rather than solely for what makes others happy. Living in a structured box with no crayons is no fun!

“She worked hard on that exterior. It was important. Because what no one suspected was the demons that controlled her life, that had ravaged her self-esteem during her four years at Duke. No one realized how she felt from the moment she rolled out of bed to the early morning hours when she hit off the light. Like a failure. ‘Effortless perfection,’ the Women’s Initiative called it. Female undergraduates wanted ‘effortless perfection.’ It was the new catch phrase. She didn’t even want effortless perfection. Just perfection. She’d work for it. She wasn’t afraid of work. But she was fixated on the ideal, and sooner or later, it all began to come undone.” — An excerpt from Effortless Perfection

(2) The “Imperfection” Photography Project

Photographer, Jessica Hilltout, describes a powerful trip to Madagascar which led to her project, “Imperfection.”

In an interview, Jessica is asked, “What thoughts and concepts are you trying to express with this body of work?”

Jessica responds, “My world… people… privilege… perfection… This project was almost a reaction against that… (the machine and the manufactured, the excess of consumption, the lack of individuality, media and advertising’s influence, the conformity…).

Imperfection for me speaks of uniqueness, character, that which is not asceptisized, that which is made by hand, unique that which has lived a long life and has been respected and cherished. Less is more, little things are big… the ingenuity of people with so little who achieve so much (ex. Recuperating old metal, plastic etc to create new objects).”

(3) Accepting Imperfection as Beauty

Nicolle Camarata of Nicolle Shops Portland describes Portland jewelery shop, Rock On Jewelry Design.

“Features Earth friendly, funky neckwear (necklaces not ties) made from things found. Using natural forms of stones, shells and beach glass, local artist Deanna Wohlgemuth has created a jewelry line with meaning. Her focus and inspiration? …accepting imperfection as beauty. By doing this it allows the true beauty to shine through. It is after all, imperfections that make things unique. Each piece is wire wrapped in sterling silver and adorned with a balance of new, salvaged, and antique beads….” — Nicolle Camarata

Artist, Deanna Wohlgemuth describes her jewelry line: “I’ll never have two designs that are exactly the same. The wonderful thing about my work is that it can be viewed simply as unique jewelry, but the story behind each piece is often what attracts others to my art. My pieces are keepsakes, and they won’t be out of style next season. Each piece has a story, and the meaning and purpose behind the story is always fashionable because it’s genuine.”

(4) Be Happy Without Being Perfect

Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How to Break Free from the Perfection Deception (Author: Dr. Alice D. Domar)

Listen to an interview with Dr. Alice D. Domar on BlogTalkRadio
Great article and interview from Today Show
- Learn to be happy, without being perfect: Goals are good, but not reaching them isn’t the end of the world

Dr. Alice D. Domar, author of the book Be Happy Without Being Perfect, is a pioneer in the application of mind/body medicine to women’s health issues. She not only established the first Mind/Body Center for Women’s Health, but also conducts ongoing ground-breaking research in the field. Her research focuses on the relationship between stress and different women’s health conditions, and creating innovative programs to help women decrease physical and psychological symptoms.

(5) Girls who Draw present… Misfits (… and you really want to be part of this crowd)

From the “Girls who Draw” Blog: Girls who Draw are an international group of all female illustrators each one with their own unique visual language. Their work is very diverse including slick digital graphics, quirky hand drawn characters, and humorous sequential imagery. Other than being women the main thing members of our group have in common is that we all make and sell our own work be it prints, t-shirts, artist’s books or other multiples. We got together in order to showcase our work to a wider audience. This has been the catalyst for our first collaborative project, a limited edition book based on the theme Misfits. We will combine our work to launch an exhibition of the same name in the UK during 2009.
Check out each member of the “Girls who Draw” — Clare Power (Bogus Baby), Jess Bradley, Gemma Correll, Jane Anderson (Currentstate), Zoe Darnell (Mmm…Biscuits!), Yee Ping Kuit, Yee Ting Kuit, Tanya Meditzky, Karoline Rerrie, and Sarah Ray.

(6) Color outside the Lines

“By coloring outside the lines of her life she found her passion.” — Deborah C. Kracht

(7) A Ring with Magical Powers: A Reminder that it’s okay to be Imperfect

… image from Ordinary Courage Blog …

An excerpt from the blog entry by Brene Brown:

A couple of days after buying it, I found myself in a familiar situation. Someone needed wanted asked me to do something that I didn’t have the time, energy, or inspiration to do. Rather than saying “yes” right away, I stood there (looking crazy, I’m sure) and thinking. When I turned 40, I promised myself to be more thoughtful about saying yes when I really need to say no AND saying no when I really need to say yes.

As I stood there, I suddenly realized that I was spinning the little rings on my new ring. Each spin gave me confidence. It was a reminder about the real gifts of turning 40.

I said no. I chose discomfort over resentment.

Make sure to check out the blog post to watch a video demonstration of the ring in action!

(8) Creating a Collage

… image by megg on polyvore …

A collage: no guidelines, no checklist of items that must be utilized. The process of creating a collage forces us to think outside the box — to see items from a different perspective. Everyday items begin to look differently and a story unfolds.

You’re able to get out whatever you may be feeling — the good and the bad — mix it all together and create something beautiful.

A story is told as a result of a messy undefined process. You learn as you go.

It is that freedom — in those moments, when I’m simply focused on the joy of the moment. I feel weightless as if I can redefine the objectives — and we can at any time. Imagine if you had to define yourself like a word in the dictionary. Would you rather have a simple definition with a one line description or a definition with synonyms and antonyms, links to other words and no clear objective statement? I rather the latter.

Unclear and complicated, imperfection is filled with layers — layers that unravel and evolve. Layers that inspire. If life were purely a finished coat of paint, perfectly even — would that be beautiful?

(9) “If you can measure it, it’s probably not that important.” — Brene Brown

Trying to be Brave — Blog post by Brene Brown on Ordinary Courage Blog

Read this blog post, read the comments, and then re-read it over and over again.

The hard part of imperfection: letting go of perfection. Perfection feels safe — no judgment, no battles. Imperfection is scary. Admitting imperfection is even scarier.

Yet, remaining true to yourself and what you believe in is too important to neglect. I write this with more conviction than ever. It will likely be the topic of my next book (another book — one day!).

I am constantly being judged and analyzed by others. It is much easier to give in and be the mold that people want you to be. But to do so would be admitting to yourself that you are not enough. For me, that would be the ultimate betrayal to myself and to those I love and cherish. And particularly to those individuals who gave me the wisdom to know that life is too important to put on hold.

This picture reminds me daily what it means to be brave. I’ll never forget the moments I sat next to Kadeejah, holding her hand or creating collages. I never saw her without a smile — until she closed her eyes. And even then I felt that smile. Her birthday is tomorrow and I feel like it gets harder every single year to feel the loss within me. I realize now that I am scared to reveal that part of my life because it is so painful. Yet, it is also the most beautiful part of my life. The part that fills me with passion and courage. And so I continually try to be brave. I don’t think it’s something we ever master.

(10) Ordinary Sparkling Moments: The Video

Just watched! Strongly suggest watching this video by Christine Mason Miller inspired by her book, Ordinary Sparkling Moments.

* * *

… Enjoy the Beauty of Imperfection …

… Relish the Unfolding Layers of Life …

* * *

What do you love about imperfection?

Tags: Alice Domar, Brené Brown, Christine Mason Miller, collage, imperfection, Jessica Hiltout, Monday, Ordinary Courage, Perfection, perfectionism, polyvore
Posted in: Authenticity, Personal

When I Grow Up

February 19th, 2009 | 23 Comments »

hopenote

image from ordinarycourage.com

Michelle (When I Grow Up Coach) created five questions for me. Michelle is one of the sweetest individuals I’ve “virtually” met. I found her through her blog (I think) — left a comment — and have been so inspired by Michelle’s perspective on life and her always cheerful disposition. She really reached out to me and supported my little blog journey. I am so grateful to her and look forward to supporting all of her new adventures. You must check out her blog. It’s addicting, but in a good way :).

• • •

… Q & A …

1) What keeps you up at night?

I wish this were a rhetorical question!

Currently…
- Writing (much more creative at night — probably due to the fact that I’m tired and have less energy to worry about structure, judgment, etc.)
- “Aha!” Moments ALWAYS occur late at night for me.
- Lots of emails to respond to (tend to respond at night so I can craft more thoughtful responses)
- So much to explore and so little time
- Browsing Etsy (night time ritual — always the last thing I do before leaving my desk)
- Reading my favorite blogs

Hmmm…… I suppose a great question would be: what doesn’t keep me up at night!

2) What piece of advice would your present self give your future self, circa 2029? [note: responses are in no specific order and all advice would of course come with links!)

Remain Authentic
Write in a Journal
- Center for Journal Therapy
- Links + Resources on Journal Writing
Nurture Yourself
Don’t put off goals and dreams for “Someday”
- Read about “Someday Syndrome“
Don’t leave anything unsaid. Tell those you love — why you love them — don’t wait for your calendar to tell you when to send a thoughtful card.
Never stop dreaming.
Do all things with passion.
Remember, “Now is Everything”
Slow Down
Begin and end each day with a smile.
Express gratitude daily.
Trust Yourself.

3) If you could have dinner with anyone — who would it be and why?

Maya Angelou.

I have been inspired by Maya Angelou’s work for as long as I can remember. During my first week as a freshman at Duke, Maya Angelou spoke to my entire class, Class of 2007. I was very close to the stage and could literally feel every single word she spoke. Every word had intention. I remember thinking to myself, one day… I want to have that impact on others. Her words — at that moment in my life — left a mark that set me on a path… a path that I wouldn’t even understand until years later. She was living and breathing each moment in and paying attention to the smallest details, such as eye contact and speech. She filled Duke’s Chapel with more energy than I ever experienced on other occasions. Just Maya Angelou alone on stage. She lit the spark inside of me — the little whisper that said… Wake Up! I heard her speak to each incoming freshman class until I graduated in 2007.

Today, when I listen to Maya Angelou speak, my eyes fill with tears. The tears are filled with many emotions and memories. More than anything, I feel hopeful that I will “sing.”

… a few of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou …

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

“Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.”

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.”

“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”

“We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”

“The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.”

“Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: ‘I’m with you kid. Let’s go.’”

… about Maya Angelou …

Oprah.Com: Dr. Angelou On the Road at Duke University
Oprah.Com: About Dr. Maya Angelou

… final thoughts …
How incredible for one person to have such an impact on so many lives. It’s an impact that goes too often unrecognized because it becomes so deeply rooted within each individual touched. I had to untangle the details to reveal the big picture and realize the etching that Dr. Angelou created in my soul. It feels as if it’s always been there. But it hasn’t. Maya Angelou’s words remain with me — and often whisper in my thoughts to do that thing called “living” — even when the skies are filled with clouds and my heart feels heavy. I hear the powerful voice and remember that now — this moment (not the next moment) — is absolutely everything.

4) What is your best character trait?

Authentic Passion.

When I become passionate about something, I am able to utilize that passion to harness the energy to overcome tremendous hurdles and obstacles. I move forward — very focused on what I want to accomplish. While it is my “best” trait, it also comes at a cost. I don’t pick and choose my passions. They have just fallen into my life and at times (such as now), I am doing many things that I am passionate about — which means I do far too much. Even though I *know* this, I can’t seem to balance it out. I suppose it has to do with my realization that -today- is my focus — not tomorrow or the next day. I fear putting things off because I know too well the reality of life. I want to know that I did everything I could to plant a powerful, positive seed that can grow beyond my time.

5) What’s your favorite TV show of all time?

Gilmore Girls!

• • •

…. Final Note ….

Again, I am inspired by the incredible Brené Brown. You must read her post: have hope, then spread it around. The post has a video at the bottom of it. It may be my favorite video of all time :). Be sure to watch the video at the end and listen to the song that accompanies it!!

…. Thank You ….
Michelle, thank you for these wonderful thought-provoking questions. And thank you to everyone who reads this little blog. I am so grateful for the tremendous support :). I always look forward to writing a new post and reading your comments.

• • • LETS HAVE SOME FUN • • •

Lets continue the blog Q & A!! Read the “Interview Rules” below!!

THE INTERVIEW RULES
* leave me a comment saying: “interview me”
* all comments will be published
* I will e-mail you five questions of my choice
* you can then answer the questions on your blog {with a link back to my blog}
* you should also post these rules, along with an offer to interview anyone else who e-mails you wanting to be interviewed
* anyone who asks to be interviewed should be sent 5 questions to answer on their blog
* it would be nice if the questions were individualized for each blogger

* Note (Carolyn’s Addition to Interview Rules): If you don’t have a blog or would rather keep your responses more private, feel free to respond to your questions directly on my blog or keep them to yourselves :).

“Beautiful Ripple Effect” of this fun blog project:

Danielle LaPorte of White Hot Truth & Carrie + Danielle sent questions to:

Michelle of When I Grow Up sent questions to:

Carolyn of A Beautiful Ripple Effect

Tags: beautiful ripple effect, Blog Love, Brené Brown, Maya Angelou, Michelle Ward, Thoughts, When I Grow Up
Posted in: Authenticity, Creativity & Inspiration, Personal

Authenticity

January 6th, 2009 | 2 Comments »

This morning, I was reading one of the blogs that really started this “blog journey” for me. It is Brené Brown’s blog, Ordinary Courage. I found Ordinary Courage after reading Brené Brown’s book, I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power. While reading the book and then her blog, I felt as if she were talking directly to me; however, I didn’t even realize at the time that her message applied so much to me. It took time for me to fully understand that being “authentic” doesn’t mean quitting my life or eating only raw foods. It is much more difficult than that! I am just starting to understand what has led me to where I am today and this period of redefining myself. Sometimes I wish I could switch off this internal voice and go back to my perfectionist ways. However, that would go against everything I now believe (or am starting to believe). This past year has taught me that each day we are given a chance to live as fully as we can and that there are no guarantees for tomorrow. How will being authentic impact my role as a graduate student? I would hope that it would make me a stronger student more capable of questioning concepts and creating new knowledge; yet, it is much more difficult to be in an intense program without my shield of perfectionism. It’s not going to be an easy road, but I’m grateful for the chance to go through this experience and realize the potential that exists to learn who I am before it’s too late. Below is a photo of my planner which includes the definition of authenticity on one of its pages (on pretty Basic Grey paper). Authenticity in Daily Planner

AUTHENTICITY is a daily practice. Living authentically means cultivating the COURAGE to be emotionally honest, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the COMPASSION that comes from knowing that we are all made of light and darkness, strength and struggle; and nurturing the CONNECTION and sense of belonging that can only happen when we let go of we are supposed to be and embrace who we are. Authenticity demands WHOLEHEARTED living and loving – even when it’s hard, even when it hurts, and especially when we are wrestling with the shame and fear of “not being enough.” Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives. — Brené Brown, Ph.D.

Tags: Authenticity, Brené Brown
Posted in: Authenticity

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The Hustle for Worthiness

A New Beginning

10 Inspirational People Who Have Redefined the Road to Success (Part Two)

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing: 10 Sources of Inspiration

An Imperfect Ten: Inspired by the Beauty of Imperfection

When I Grow Up

Authenticity

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