In order to dream again, really dream—bigger than big dreams, you must believe in yourself—in your ability to make your dreams a reality. There is no easy fail-proof way to regain your self-confidence. However, there are steps you can take to begin to rebuild your self-confidence. The goal is to avoid becoming your worst enemy—criticizing yourself at every time. It’s okay to feel defeated, but it’s not okay to BE defeated.

To rebuild your self-confidence, begin to notice when your inner critic takes the stage. Rather than feed this critic, redirect your attention. Below are quotes I’ve collected to help you with this redirection. Find the words that resonate for you and write them in your journal or bookmark this post to easily find words to focus on when your inner critic vies for your attention. Little actions, such as reading a few quotes, can create large changes in your life. The key is to make these little actions very simple for you to actually do. I hope these quotes provide restorative nourishment as you move forward on your journey.

You may have a fresh start any time you choose, for this thing we call “failure” is not in the falling down, but in the staying down. —Mary Pickford

I was inspired to create my own opportunity and not to let others determine what my life could be. —Laura Nelli in Rue Mag (Jan 2012)

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure. —Oprah Winfrey

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark. In the hopeless swamp of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours. —Ayn Rand

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. —Elizabeth Kubler Ross

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. —Martin Luther King

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen: There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or, you will be taught how to fly. —Patrick Overton

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. —Eleanor Roosevelt

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.  —Maya Angelou

Fall seven times, stand up eight. —Japanese proverb

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. —Charles Swindoll

Prosperity is not without many fears and disasters; and adversity is not without comforts and hopes. —Francis Bacon

Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final. —Roger Babson

It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation. —Herman Melville

Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle. —Christian D. Larson

Mistakes are a natural part of life. We learn by experimenting; mistakes and failure can be important parts of our learning process. Einstein flunked grade-school mathematics. Edison tried over 9,000 kinds of filaments before he found one that would work in a light bulb. Walt Disney went bankrupt five times before he built Disneyland. If we accept setbacks, we can continue to risk, learn, and move on with excitement and satisfaction. —California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility

You are enough. —@happyolks via twitter

This too shall pass. —@aboundlessworld via twitter

The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests. —Epictetus

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. —Robert Frost

The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache. —Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. —Truman Capote

There comes a point when you either embrace who and what you are, or condemn yourself to be miserable all your days. Other people will try to make you miserable; don’t help them by doing the job yourself. —Laurell K. Hamilton

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. —Winston Churchill

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. —Theodore Roosevelt

Just because you fail once doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. —Marilyn Monroe

The past has no power over the present moment. —Eckhart Tolle

What quote resonates for you? Do you have a quote to add to this list?

image: kikki-k

daily quote inspiration (i’m addicted to quotes!): quote art on pinterest + short quotes on twitter (#quote)

Related posts:

1. The Courage to Write: 23 Quotes to Help You Overcome the Fear of Writing
2. How to Motivate Yourself: 21 Quotes to Help You Refocus and Renew
3. Pen & Paper: The Power of Quotes

Inspiration for 2012

When thinking about the next twelve months, I find it helpful to switch my mindset to that of my future self. I first got this idea from my friend Jess Constable who writes an annual letter to her future self (highly recommend!).

STEP ONE: I begin by asking my future self (i.e., Carolyn + 12 months from today) for one word that has had significant meaning over the past year. In 2012, my one word is confidence. Ali Edwards recently posted a roundup of “one words” chosen by others that your future self may enjoy perusing :).

STEP TWO: After choosing one word as an anchor for 2012, I brainstorm 12 actions that align with the overall sentiment of this word. I jot down one action per month and put these actions on an index card in the front of my daily journal.

STEP THREE: This year, I’m going to further explore this activity by jotting down one positive action/experience/accomplishment after each month. Then, at the end of 2012, I will have created a personal positivity treasury with a record of positive moments to reflect upon. I really think this simply activity will be tremendously powerful.

Inspiring Downloads for 2012

Inspired by the one-word concept, I created a cheerful printable file for you to download. [download pdf]

I also created a printable document to serve as a visual reminder of this new journaling activity. I plan on keeping mine pinned to my inspiration board for easy reference and updating as the year unfolds. [download pdf]

How do you keep track of positive experiences and accomplishments throughout the year? If you’ve chosen one word for 2012, I would love to know what you’ve selected!

image (everything will be okay): ello lovey

Related posts:

1. For Your Inspiration: A Gift from Kind Over Matter and Spring
2. Closing Chapter 2011
3. Pen & Paper: Focusing on Gratitude

1. One Word. Encapsulate the year 2011 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2012 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

I want to sign like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think. -Rumi

In 2011, I chose to begin with intention. I set clear intentions that aligned with my values. But along the way, through the hustle and bustle of daily life, my focus went to a single intention. I had tunnel vision and devalued my other values and intentions. My identity and self-worth were dependent on a single intention, one tiny component of my life. When this one area of my life was challenged, I found myself needing the other areas of my life (the areas that I had neglected) to keep me afloat. I learned that to begin with intention is wise, but only if you reflect and redirect with intention along the way.

In 2012, I choose to nourish confidence through self-compassion. I want to focus on rebuilding my self-confidence and mindfully attending to what I do well and what makes me sparkle. In order to communicate confidence and garner trust and respect from others, I need (and want!) to value my own opinions and trust my inner compass. At the end of 2012, I hope to radiate confidence.

What would be your one word for 2012?

image: pinwheel designs

Related posts:

1. Surprises and Rituals
2. The Courage to Continue: 26 Quotes to Help You Regain Confidence When You Feel Defeated
3. Closing Chapter 2011

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

What allows some people to eclipse the realm of the possible? Are they really the exceptional ones, or is there more to the equation than mere luck?

Unconventional success redefines what we consider possible—it’s success that has not yet been defined by others. Essentially, it means paving a path through unchartered territory.

Over the past ten years, I have followed my personal vision, which has led me into uncharted territory on many occasions. Only recently have I begun to share my life with the world and to my surprise, I have been flooded with questions. People want to know more about the secrets behind what I’ve achieved. Reflecting on this question, I believe there are three essential ingredients in overcoming the mental barriers that prevent us from achieving unconventional success.

1. Focus on “What” not “How”

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
-Herman Cain

The first step in achieving anything is defining your vision. As a start, begin with this powerful question: “What do I want?” At this point, the “how” doesn’t matter since worrying about it only weakens your mental aptitude. Sometimes the question of “what” is easy to answer while at other times doing so is next to impossible. After all, the answer can be buried in guilt and other rationalizations of what you believe you should be doing. So it’s critical to focus on your inner knowledge and filter through the extrinsic variety; after all, you want the clearest mindset you can have.

Four years ago, for example, I decided that I wanted to write a book that would change the world. I knew what I wanted, and that knowledge was a tremendously powerful feeling. So I knew the what: I wanted “to write a book,” and I knew the why: because I wanted “to change the world.” Talk about lofty goals to write down on a to-do list! But I focused on the goal instead of becoming mired in the intricate details about how I would actually accomplish it. In fact, I never purchased a book about writing, publishing, or any related how-to guide. Now, I realize that my omission was key among the reasons I was able to focus relentlessly and fearlessly on such a grand goal—I didn’t care about the “how.” Instead, I believed passionately that I would achieve my goal.

2. Have the Courage to Redefine “How”

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you’re scared to death.
- Early Wilson

Once you have a vision of what you want, the next ingredient you’ll need is courage. Courage is associated with bravery and overcoming fear, and in order to find that courage, we must give ourselves permission to choose a different path, to be unconventional. In his blog post, Permission to Think Big, Alex Shalman discusses how we need to create a mindset for success:

Most of our decisions in life are based on whether or not we can give ourselves permission to tackle the big things. Whether or not we give ourselves permission is based on the amount of courage and self-esteem that we possess…Remember, if you’re going to listen to conventional wisdom, and follow everyone else’s advice, then you’re probably going to get the same results as everyone else. If you decide that’s not good enough for you anymore, make your own rules.

Now that is what I call powerful advice! Essentially, Alex is suggesting that you write your own playbook, and I couldn’t agree more.

When deciding “how” to write a book that would change the world, I realized that I needed to create the playbook Alex was writing about. When I decided that failure was not the outcome I was looking for, I also realized that I was willing to make tremendous sacrifices to create that unconventional success. But in doing so, I had to reach the lowest point in my life before I could learn the real quality of perseverance. After all, how could I persevere on a path that no one had ever taken before? Nevertheless, I resolved to answer the question and didn’t let anything stop me.

3. Choose to Persevere

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, “Press on,” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
- Calvin Coolidge

What does it mean, “to persevere?” Soon enough, that “what” of writing the book that will change the world will be realized (i.e., in less than three weeks!). Rather than feeling as if our lives are filled with mountains of negativity, we must replace them with hope that is fueled by perseverance. To achieve any type of success—conventional or otherwise—you must have hope that you will succeed. That means going through the good and bad times without losing that valuable perspective on hope and possibility. In short, it’s a little thing I like to call Perseverance.

I’ve decided to end this post with the words of Alex Oden, a two-time brain cancer survivor, college student, close friend, and one of the twenty individuals featured in Perseverance.

The most important thing in life: hope. Hope is the most empowering feeling a person can possess. As long as there is hope, there is a reason to keep living. As I have said before, life is a gift; we only get one chance at it. If there is a possibility for success, no matter how small, then there is hope. Life is too precious to give up hope.

Future Directions

Throughout history, individuals have redefined what we recognize as the realm of the possible. In my next post, I will focus on modern-day pioneers who can open your eyes to an entire world of possibilities. Then, we’ll look at how you can take these three key ingredients, combine them with the examples given by these pioneers, and create your own unconventional success. I’m giving you a glimpse at what it takes to do what you want to do, regardless of the myriad obstacles you’ll encounter. Of course, if you think it’s easy, you’re in for a BIG wake up call! To be fair, I won’t hold anything back. You’ll learn everything it takes to push you to where you want to go. Then, you’ll need to decide for yourself if the sacrifices are worth the journey. I certainly wouldn’t give up a single moment of what I’ve done, since without having encountered the struggles or making the sacrifices, I would not be living authentically. Today, I can say wholeheartedly that I am living my dream.

Are you excited? I hope so! Remember, nothing is required other than a willingness to reach deep inside yourself to find the strength you need to follow your dreams.

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Join me on the incredible journey of Perseverance. Sign up to receive the first e-newsletter to learn what’s happening behind the scenes!

Related posts:

1. 10 Inspirational People Who Have Redefined the Road to Success (Part Two)
2. How Important is Your Mind-Set?
3. 10 Inspirational People Who Have Redefined the Road to Success (Part One)