Posts Tagged ‘Courage’

Learning As You Go and The Itty Bitty Check-In List

July 6th, 2010 | 9 Comments »

Today’s post is a little different… no sage advice or aha! moments to share (still there?)… instead I want to talk with you about blogging and how I’m trying to learn as I go. I crave structure and beautifully created project plans; however, when it comes to blogging, structure and plans don’t work for me. I find that as soon as I turn blogging into a project with a start and an end, it quickly becomes another obligation in my already obligation heavy life. And if blogging feels like an obligation, I don’t show up as my essential self. Instead, I enter with expectations and rules to follow — no longer enjoying the process.

Recently, I’ve been telling myself that I am in a blogging rut! I’m not even sure what that means, but my mind has really stuck onto this concept. Something is missing, but I can’t put my finger on what that “something” is just yet. I think the “rut” is a combination of various factors: comparison and judgment (my posts aren’t good enough = I’m not good enough = well, what am I doing? = and around we go again!), personal factors (how much I can share on here about what is happening in my day-to-day life, while maintaining clear boundaries between my personal, professional, and online life), and learning (what is working for me and what isn’t working for me). Now, that’s a lot to process! Rather than berate myself for not having everything figured out, I’m focusing on letting go of the need to know. Uncertainty is scary when we choose to let it take the reigns, but letting go of the desire to create a state of certainty enables us to reestablish a sense of control.

I am learning to show up and acknowledge what is. Simply noticing how I’m feeling without an obligation to fix the situation is liberating. For the past week, I have been checking in with myself at various times throughout the day, utilizing a simple little checklist. About five times a day, I’ll stop what I’m doing and complete the simple list. It consists of six items on a small index card. Each morning, I cut one index card into five smaller cards to use for the day. I write the same list on each of the cards.

:: The Itty Bitty Check-In List ::

day of week:
ticktock:
current activity:

(1) inspired
(2) discouraged
(3) energetic
(4) overwhelmed
(5) confident
(6) bored

This little check-in helps me to refocus and become present. I put the card into my drawer after I complete it. I plan on looking through them at the end of the week to look for any big patterns (e.g., wow, it seems that regardless of the activity, I always feel bored at 4:30 pm… or regardless of the time, I always feel inspired when focused on a writing activity). Even if the cards remain in my drawer forever without any “analysis,” I really value the activity as a way to regain a sense of mindfulness throughout the day.

… endnote …

I wrote this post and was going to separate it into two separate posts, expanding on the first part (learning as you go and blogging) separately from the second part (the itty bitty check-in list). However, I decided to let go and share the thoughts in a less polished format. It’s hard for me to do and the little perfectionist voice inside my head is not happy with me; but oh well, learning as we go, right?

… end endnote …

If you’re interested in working with me to learn innovative ways (creative tricks and techniques with a touch of idea genie dust!) to live a life you love, and truly walk the talk, email me directly to discuss personalized options. Email: carolyn (at) abeautifulrippleeffect (dot) com.

[image: laurageorge]

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Shine a Light on Your Path

March 17th, 2010 | 1 Comment »

The text below is an excerpt from my recently published book, Perseverance.

This book [Perseverance] is the result of one of my lifelong passions – a desire to help kids with life-threatening illnesses. It started when, as a young child, I became immersed in a world intrinsically different from my own. When I was six, I went with my parents to visit Camp Sunshine, a camp run by their friends. Camp Sunshine was and still is a retreat in Casco, Maine for children with cancer. Even though I had never been through cancer, I began to understand the impact of this disease at a very personal level. During this visit, I had developed a deep connection to children with cancer. Though I didn’t know it, that visit was going to change my life, and redefine my concept of courage forever.

Freed from the fear of rejection by their peers and the isolation of their hospital rooms, at Camp Sunshine children facing cancer could just be “normal” kids. From what they told me, the psychological issues faced by most kids going through cancer treatment were ubiquitous. Returning to the camp eight years later when I was fourteen, I was again overwhelmed by the strength and courage of my peers with cancer.

Returning to my “normal” life at home after the second visit was difficult. I was older, and more aware of the campers’ struggles. That year, I founded Carolyn’s Compassionate Children (CCC), an organization to help children with cancer and other serious illnesses.

CCC began as a pen-pal program connecting children who had cancer with their healthy peers. When I was fifteen, my foundation became a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. It was a success, but I wanted to do more.

CCC has flourished in the nine [now: 10] years since I founded it. CCC has awarded 100 college scholarships to childhood cancer survivors across the nation. Currently, the mission of CCC is to improve the quality of life for young adult cancer survivors by increasing the opportunity for college access.

At the beginning of my spring semester freshman year at Duke University, I worked with a child in a documentary studies class examining childhood illness. The purpose of the class was to help a child facing cancer document his or her life through photography. Each student in the class was paired with one child.

I was paired with ten-year-old Kadeejah. I visited her at Duke Hospital every day. She smiled regardless of how she felt. She filled the bleakest days with sunshine. She loved to hold my hand. I gave her a teddy bear on her eleventh birthday, St. Patrick’s Day.

And then I watched her slowly slip away from me.

The last time I saw her, she was lying unconscious in the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) with the teddy bear in her arms. I kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye.

I came to believe that every life has a purpose. Kadeejah and I were brought together for a reason. She taught me the value of now – this moment, today. Kadeejah spent every spare moment creating art. She never tired of these projects and as soon as she finished one creation, she went on to the next. I determined to spread Kadeejah’s passion for life to as many people as I could reach. This book is my first step toward realizing this goal.

… We all have journeys into uncharted territories that we must take alone. But I have learned that we aren’t necessarily alone. No matter how dark the moment, brave souls have already walked the same path. The purpose of this book is to shine a light on the path each of us takes.

: : :

Kadeejah’s beautiful memory and unbelievable courage shine a light for me, allowing me to share these words with you in celebration of Kadeejah’s life, and in particular, Kadeejah’s birthday.

: : :

To watch me read this excerpt from the book, you can see my personal video on Spring.

Please consider making a donation in memory of Kadeejah to support the Kadeejah Moore Memorial Fund. Every dollar counts.

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3 Essential Ingredients for Creating Unconventional Success

July 19th, 2009 | 19 Comments »

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Unconventional Success IngredientsWhat allows some people to eclipse the realm of the possible? Are they really the exceptional ones, or is there more to the equation than mere luck?

Unconventional success redefines what we consider possible—it’s success that has not yet been defined by others. Essentially, it means paving a path through unchartered territory.

Over the past ten years, I have followed my personal vision, which has led me into uncharted territory on many occasions. Only recently have I begun to share my life with the world and to my surprise, I have been flooded with questions. People want to know more about the secrets behind what I’ve achieved. Reflecting on this question, I believe there are three essential ingredients in overcoming the mental barriers that prevent us from achieving unconventional success.

1. Focus on “What” not “How”

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
-Herman Cain

The first step in achieving anything is defining your vision. As a start, begin with this powerful question: “What do I want?” At this point, the “how” doesn’t matter since worrying about it only weakens your mental aptitude. Sometimes the question of “what” is easy to answer while at other times doing so is next to impossible. After all, the answer can be buried in guilt and other rationalizations of what you believe you should be doing. So it’s critical to focus on your inner knowledge and filter through the extrinsic variety; after all, you want the clearest mindset you can have.

Four years ago, for example, I decided that I wanted to write a book that would change the world. I knew what I wanted, and that knowledge was a tremendously powerful feeling. So I knew the what: I wanted “to write a book,” and I knew the why: because I wanted “to change the world.” Talk about lofty goals to write down on a to-do list! But I focused on the goal instead of becoming mired in the intricate details about how I would actually accomplish it. In fact, I never purchased a book about writing, publishing, or any related how-to guide. Now, I realize that my omission was key among the reasons I was able to focus relentlessly and fearlessly on such a grand goal—I didn’t care about the “how.” Instead, I believed passionately that I would achieve my goal.

2. Have the Courage to Redefine “How”

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you’re scared to death.
- Early Wilson

Once you have a vision of what you want, the next ingredient you’ll need is courage. Courage is associated with bravery and overcoming fear, and in order to find that courage, we must give ourselves permission to choose a different path, to be unconventional. In his blog post, Permission to Think Big, Alex Shalman discusses how we need to create a mindset for success:

Most of our decisions in life are based on whether or not we can give ourselves permission to tackle the big things. Whether or not we give ourselves permission is based on the amount of courage and self-esteem that we possess…Remember, if you’re going to listen to conventional wisdom, and follow everyone else’s advice, then you’re probably going to get the same results as everyone else. If you decide that’s not good enough for you anymore, make your own rules.

Now that is what I call powerful advice! Essentially, Alex is suggesting that you write your own playbook, and I couldn’t agree more.

When deciding “how” to write a book that would change the world, I realized that I needed to create the playbook Alex was writing about. When I decided that failure was not the outcome I was looking for, I also realized that I was willing to make tremendous sacrifices to create that unconventional success. But in doing so, I had to reach the lowest point in my life before I could learn the real quality of perseverance. After all, how could I persevere on a path that no one had ever taken before? Nevertheless, I resolved to answer the question and didn’t let anything stop me.

3. Choose to Persevere

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, “Press on,” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
- Calvin Coolidge

What does it mean, “to persevere?” Soon enough, that “what” of writing the book that will change the world will be realized (i.e., in less than three weeks!). Rather than feeling as if our lives are filled with mountains of negativity, we must replace them with hope that is fueled by perseverance. To achieve any type of success—conventional or otherwise—you must have hope that you will succeed. That means going through the good and bad times without losing that valuable perspective on hope and possibility. In short, it’s a little thing I like to call Perseverance.

I’ve decided to end this post with the words of Alex Oden, a two-time brain cancer survivor, college student, close friend, and one of the twenty individuals featured in Perseverance.

The most important thing in life: hope. Hope is the most empowering feeling a person can possess. As long as there is hope, there is a reason to keep living. As I have said before, life is a gift; we only get one chance at it. If there is a possibility for success, no matter how small, then there is hope. Life is too precious to give up hope.

Future Directions

Throughout history, individuals have redefined what we recognize as the realm of the possible. In my next post, I will focus on modern-day pioneers who can open your eyes to an entire world of possibilities. Then, we’ll look at how you can take these three key ingredients, combine them with the examples given by these pioneers, and create your own unconventional success. I’m giving you a glimpse at what it takes to do what you want to do, regardless of the myriad obstacles you’ll encounter. Of course, if you think it’s easy, you’re in for a BIG wake up call! To be fair, I won’t hold anything back. You’ll learn everything it takes to push you to where you want to go. Then, you’ll need to decide for yourself if the sacrifices are worth the journey. I certainly wouldn’t give up a single moment of what I’ve done, since without having encountered the struggles or making the sacrifices, I would not be living authentically. Today, I can say wholeheartedly that I am living my dream.

Are you excited? I hope so! Remember, nothing is required other than a willingness to reach deep inside yourself to find the strength you need to follow your dreams.

Join me on the incredible journey of Perseverance. Sign up to receive the first e-newsletter to learn what’s happening behind the scenes!

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Information + Inspiration [File 3]

May 19th, 2009 | 13 Comments »

in2 file 3 main image

image via lululemon

Weekly Snippets of Information + Inspiration [File 3]

image via rfrantzdesign on etsy

InformationFiles:

-> Event: BookExpo America [Largest book publishing event in North America occurring in New York City from May 29-May 31. I am just starting to learn about this event and it seems absolutely incredible. Check out the website if you are at all interested in books or the publishing industry! I'm very excited to be signing advance-release copies of my book from 12:30 - 1:30 pm in the Author Autographing Area on Saturday May 30th -- come say hi if you'll be there!]

-> Book: The Courage to Give (Jackie Waldman) [I am grateful to know Jackie. She is even more unbelievably caring than any story can possibly portray. She volunteers her time to help select the recipients of CCC's college scholarship program. A little intro from Jackie's book website: "We all have something to give, no matter what. That's the courage-the courage to step out of our own lives, even when we think we can't, and step into the life of someone else. When we find the courage to give to someone else, sharing what we love to do and making a difference for someone else, that's when we can begin to live joyfully, no matter what." Jackie is also on Oprah's Angel Network, and has an article called, Begin with Yourself. I love how Jackie discusses volunteering as something that must begin within rather than an activity that is purely extrinsic. An unbelievable woman who is changing the world through her own experience with MS, her words, her books, and most importantly -- her personal actions.]

-> Mind + Body: Hip Tranquil Chic [I found Kimberly Wilson (i.e. the Hip Tranquil Chic) through twitter and just love her unique and fun approach to yoga and tranquility. SCARY! I promise I didn't know about this before just now -- check out who was featured yesterday on Kimberly's blog -- Featured Tranquilista: Christine Mason Miller! I feel like a stalker. Christine, I promise I am not stalking you! But if Christine is a tranquilista, then you gotta know it must be worthwhile to make a stop and read about the tranquil chic and how to become one.]

-> Creative: Are you creative? Answer: Yes. I would love your help! My non-profit, CCC, is creating a few fun designs and slogans to sell on apparell as a way to help increase donations (100% of every dollar donated goes to a scholarship). If you have any ideas or know someone with ideas, please let me know! You can learn more about the organization at our website and gain inspiration from there as well for different design ideas. But we want to do something a bit different than our normal image – so all ideas are welcome! Please just leave me a comment below and I’ll email you with more details (and yes there will be super thank you gifts from yours truly). CafePress has an abundance of ideas — but it can suck you in! Since I know nothing about the design world, I thought I would appeal to my design friends and readers :).

-> Care: What Gives?! [A social goodworking blog. Want to do more to help a cause, but not sure where to start? Have an idea and need support? Want to know about the cool stuff happening behind non-profit work? A community of supportive individuals who have questions -- just like you and me -- and want to do good and have fun at the same time.]

in2 file3 inspiration

… remaining images via seejanework

InspirationFiles:

-> Wear: SocChic: Chic Necklaces Benefiting Social Causes. [Dream: one day CCC becomes "SocChic" -- a girl can dream! Update: The dream came true! Check out the Bright Side Necklace!]

-> Website: Lululemon [Definitely mentioned before (apologies for the repetition), but the website keeps getting better! Some favorite parts: goal setting, the community, manifesto, blog]

-> Visual: ColorSchemer [You don't need a big project to add fun colors to your life -- think: bullet points, document header, font color -- little pops of color in unexpected places do a lot to boost your mood]

-> Quoted: Marian Wright Edelman (see below) read this Shel Silverstein quote to conclude her speech:

Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. – Shel Silverstein

-> Power of One: Marian Wright Edelman (President, Children’s Defense Fund) [Commencement Speaker at University Of Miami 2009 -- Best speech I have ever heard. Period. And now I can't find the speech online (oops). I'll find it and post an update. I found an excerpt of the speech, that you can peruse in the meantime. Additionally, you can read Marian Wright Edelman articles every Monday on the Huffington Post. My mom was so moved by the speech that she told Edelman that she was a better person just after hearing her talk. My mom was much more eloquent than that of course -- simply put: everyone was inspired by the commencement speech and the life's work of Marian Wright Edelman.]

in2 file3 bonus

Bonus:

-> Featured in Post (Say Tweet!): @bookexpoamerica, @tranquilista, @cccscholarships, @jessconstable, @lululemon, @childdefender

-> Thank You Gift (from me to you): SocChic Necklace — Visit the website and let me know in the comments which necklace you love and why — it will be hard to pick one! I know this thank you gift is a bit buried, so I’ll remind you later in the week just in case! Comment by Tuesday May 26th at 10:00 pm EST. Please only one comment per family. Thank You! Winner will be announced by Wednesday May 27th at 10:00 pm EST right here!

***
Information + Inspiration [File 1]

Information + Inspiration [File 2]

Say Tweet @clrsimple2

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