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Posts Tagged ‘hope’

Pen & Paper: Focusing on Gratitude

November 21st, 2011 | 7 Comments »

Welcome to this month’s Pen & Paper: Living Between the Lines written by the amazing Hope Wallace Karney. To learn more about Hope and the column, please check out the announcement post!

WIth Thanksgiving just around the corner for those of us in the United States, it is a great time to either start a gratitude journal or to create a journal spread focused on what you are thankful for.

I have created a template (PDF) for you to download and print, which you can journal directly on (I cut mine out and will paste it into my journal).  You can use it one time, or weekly, or even daily. It is a great exercise to start doing on a regular basis.

I recommend listing out at least 5 things you are thank for, this is a common practice and when done daily it becomes a gratitude journal which is a wonderful way to keep yourself grounded in the everyday things that make you happy.

For this exercise, let’s take it a step further – for every item you list, take a moment and reflect upon it, then write a sentence or two about why you are adding it to your thankful list.

Below, You can see the various stages of my thankful spread:

I decided to record what I am thankful for now, this year, 2011. I added a recent photo of myself and the year. Next, I wrote around them the things I am currently thankful for.

I know it is hard for some to come up with things to list, a lot of times one may think it is too little or silly to record. That is not true! Try not to over think it, and reflect on things you are thankful for no matter how large or small – because both large and small are easily taken for granted, and this prompt will help you to appreciate them more.

I hit some of the big ticket items on my spread – family, friendships, home & shelter, health, and love – but there are plenty of small things that I am thankful for as well, that I could have added, such as…

… my local grocery store starting to carry my favourite hot chocolate.

… borderline warm weather so I can wear flip flops just a few more days until I have to start covering my toes to keep them warm.

… the way my puppy sighs her contentment when I snuggle her close.

… my parents safe journey home after a wonderful visit.

What are you thankful for this year? Today? This month?

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Posted in: Creative, Creativity & Inspiration, Guest Bloggers, Pen & Paper, Tips + Techniques, When You Feel

How to Begin to Cultivate Hope After Failing

September 20th, 2011 | 13 Comments »

The scariest part of failure is being seen when you’re most vulnerable and least perfect. It is far safer (and easier) to hide behind dreams and schemes. It is even fun to dream and scheme—to think “what if,” and to create our own fairy tales—you know, something to look forward to, one day when you just know that it’s the right time. But while we wait for the perfect time, we watch others soar—we listen closely to their tales and imagine how one day we will be telling a similar tale of triumph and victory. These tales, over time, often grow as we gain new experiences, watch others’ experiences, and engage in endless daydreaming.

Now, back to the point at hand—the scariest part of failure. When we abandon the confines of “life as usual,” we leap, hoping that we will fly and garner the awe of those watching from the valley as we soar. But what happens if we don’t fly?

What most people aren’t prepared for is how to cope with the reality of hitting the ground. It’s not pretty—definitely not the fairy tale story that has been growing for years in your mind. And once you’re there on the ground, it hurts… a lot. Your ego is bruised. More than that, your ability to dream and act on your dreams becomes painfully difficult. You no longer wear rose-colored glasses. Leaping becomes harder because you’ve lost your childlike naiveté.

So what do you do? How do you begin to tell your tale and cultivate hope for the future? You realize that you can’t rewind your life. You can either hit pause or play. While hitting pause is a powerful part of the healing process, at some point, you need to begin hitting the play button more than the pause button. To do this, there is one thought that has helped me along the way: you have nothing to lose. Failing (especially failing BIG) provides you with a sense of freedom that you can never gain by playing it safe. It’s this freedom that separates you from those who never leap. It’s this freedom that you will one day tell about in your tale. It’s this freedom of knowing how to get back up after hitting the ground that will allow you to soar far higher than you ever imagined possible.

This is your tale, are you ready to tell it? Begin by hitting play.

—

image: artsyville

PS Have you entered the incredible journaling e-course giveaway? It’s my favorite giveaway so far and ends this Friday (Sep 23rd).

PPS I realize the topic of failure is difficult to discuss in a public forum. But it’s my hope to begin to open up the dialogue around this very real/scary topic so that we realize (we = myself included) we are never alone on our journey. I would love to know if this topic is something you like reading about—you can let me know in the comments or via email/twitter. I am truly grateful for your support.

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Posted in: Authenticity, Defeated, Perseverance, Tips + Techniques, Top Posts

Does Your Past Dictate Your Future?

August 31st, 2011 | 7 Comments »

A friend of mine recently asked me this, and it has stuck in my head ever since. I answered with a bit of clichéd advice that didn’t truly address the full depth of the question. This question is incredibly knotty and can strike people in a wide range of ways. Thus, my response may not resonate for all. It is merely my response at this point in time, one that will likely change and be reshaped by my experiences. So, I will ponder my response aloud and let it stand as a work in progress.

Depending on your perspective, this question has two sides – one hopeful and one fearful – and it can change in a millisecond. But it’s a perspective that can be manipulated by your mind regardless of the circumstances. You can let your perspective dictate your choice or let your choice dictate your perspective.

When you choose to be hopeful, you choose to create your own future – to get creative and brainstorm ways of decreasing the negatives and increasing the positives. You focus on what is within your control and not what is beyond your ability to change. You keep yourself in the moment and don’t let yourself get stuck in the past or go finding reasons to believe your chances for success are slim. You choose to rewrite your story and not let your current reality play on repeat in your mind. It’s a lot of work, but it’s the work that ultimately allows you to get out of your own way.

When you choose to be fearful, you choose to let your past dictate your future. How could someone with a great past (i.e., a great story) possibly fear the future? It’s quite easy! No one knows what the future holds. So, regardless of whether our past was good or bad, we tend to fear that our past will either align or not align with the future.

Incredibly successful people are full of fear – the fear that their best work is behind them. They compare themselves to themselves and can’t seem to comprehend that things change, that nothing is constant, and that we break our own records just as others break our records too. There is no way to know how the tides will turn.

However, we get to decide what we take from our past into our future. What do we want to use? Why not use the lessons, the hardships and anything else we can find? Surely, the past is beyond our ability to change, so the only way to move forward is to truly own our current place in life, and to own our ability to create our future regardless of the past. If not, we remain in the past, unable to move forward.

image: dear colleen via pinterest

— THE GLITTER INSPIRED GIVEAWAY—

The Glitter Inspired Giveaway ends Friday September 2nd! Have you left a comment yet?! (there are 3 recipients!)

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Posted in: Authenticity, Defeated, Perseverance, When You Feel

Choosing a Different Road

July 26th, 2011 | 5 Comments »

Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well. – Maya Angelou

Do you ever find yourself wondering, how did I get here? After traveling from Place A to Place B for the 70th time, you may begin to feel like you’re moving on autopilot — you’re going through the motions without actually registering these motions. And going through the motions is much easier than challenging yourself to navigate differently each time you travel on that familiar path. Sadly, it often takes a collision or some other external force to provoke us — to make us ponder our motions, and ponder even bigger questions, such as: Is this the path I want to take?

You begin to ask: why am I going to Point B? And if I truly embrace Point B as the place I want to go, is the path I’m on the best path for me? And that depends on what you want, do you want to take a scenic route without a map, or the highway with GPS – and lots of other options in between.

To change paths, we must turn-off autopilot and navigate manually—encountering new turns and soupy traffic (as my dad likes to call it) as we go.

Changing paths, literally and figuratively, is downright frightening. It forces us to move beyond our comfort zone and make difficult decisions. As I assess different paths, I am learning to confront the fear as it greets me (and it’s not so friendly), by not allowing the fear to wrap me in its web. It’s easy to get buried in fear — losing a sense of hope or power as an individual.

To dissolve fear as I greet it, I try focusing on the opposite of what that fear is telling me to do – focusing on what I can gain by changing paths rather than focusing on what I can lose (i.e., assuming the role of victim). Then to settle into the present moment, I ask myself: what am I believing right now? By noticing the stories I am telling myself and being compassionate with myself rather than judgmental, I am able to gain a sense of inner equilibrium. And it’s from this place of stability that we can begin to truly assess what we want and how we choose the path for navigating the journey.

image: five words (via samantha on pinterest)

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Posted in: Authenticity, Defeated, When You Feel

Are the odds in your favor?

September 25th, 2009 | 19 Comments »

The difference between what we do, and what we are capable of doing, would solve most of the world’s problems.” -Mahatma Gandhi

Impossible or Possible?

During a recent conversation, someone (I’ll maintain this person’s anonymity!) told me, “The odds are not in your favor.” I was appalled when I heard the statement, especially because the person was referring to the success of something very important to me. The individual could not understand why the remark upset me as much as it did.

After the conversation, I couldn’t stop thinking about the meaning behind the statement. The other person thought it was simply a pronouncement of fact, and it may well be, but to me, it’s a declaration that lacks any kind of hope and any of the power found in perseverance.

I’ve learned repeatedly from the world of childhood cancer that the odds are often not in your favor; however, the strongest and happiest children and families I have known chose not to focus on those odds. They had nothing to gain by doing so. Instead, they shifted their focus to what was in their favor. Often, that was the beauty of the moment and the unwavering belief that one must never stop living because of a storm. Life doesn’t wait for us.

Life is a journey that can never be defined by odds. We—not others—choose how we live our lives. If we decide to believe in ourselves, then nothing can diminish our potential.

The statement the person made, while hurtful at the time, helped me appreciate yet again the fuel that drives my passion to create a completely unique life journey. The fuel: believing that anything is possible, the excitement to disprove “the odds” and do things that others say can’t be done. The strength I gain from that fuel drives me to expect the unexpected, to know the unknown, and to make possible the impossible. Without this mindset, dreams remain unreachable…and a life without dreams is barren.

The odds will always exist, but we won’t. So take what is in your favor and chase those dreams. As you begin, take this fact away with you: it’s time for YOU to soar!

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Posted in: Creativity & Inspiration, Goals & Productivity, Top Posts

Carolyn Rubenstein
Reverb 2011

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