A Beautiful Ripple Effect

To live wholeheartedly and authentically requires worthiness. It is an essential ingredient too often overlooked. We are bombarded constantly with thoughts of “not being enough” – primarily working subconsciously. And these undetected thoughts lead us to underestimate ourselves – to feel as if we are in a never ending race (opponent: ourselves). It’s exhausting and self-defeating to let these thoughts remain in control.

As I write this post, I recognize the presence of these thoughts.

- What do I know about worthiness?
- No one cares what I have to say.
- I’m just wasting my time.

These negative thoughts stem from what Martha Beck calls our social self. “The social self is based on principles that often run contrary to our core desires. Its job is to know when those desires will upset other people, and to help us override natural inclinations that aren’t socially acceptable.” She further describes the basic operations of the social self as avoidance-based, conforming, imitative, predictable, planning, and hardworking. The social self is a wonderful navigational tool; however, it must be aligned with our essential self in order to guide us in a positive direction. Your essential self is “… the basic you, stripped of options and special features.…” Its basic operations include attraction-based, unique, inventive, surprising, spontaneous, and playful.

Another way to think of the difference between these two parts of your “self” is to think of your right and left brain. Your left brain is more analytical and critical while your right brain is more creative and carefree. When we act primarily with our left brain, we tend to spiral into a cloud of self-defeating thoughts; however, when we utilize both our left brain and our right brain, we are able to let go of many of the burdens and ideals we place upon ourselves. We have greater clarity and are much better at rationalizing.

The Bottom Line: To believe that you are worthy. To know that you are good enough – regardless of extrinsic circumstances – you must recognize what is causing these thoughts to question your worth. No one measures your self-worth but YOU.

I’ll be worthy if …

Self-defeating thoughts challenge our self-worth. They break down our confidence. They maintain this powerful control until we decide to: (a) mindfully recognize these thoughts and (b) challenge them. These two steps are critical and can’t be reinforced enough within our lives.
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In a blog post encouraging individuals to dedicate this week to worthiness, Dr. Brené Brown writes:

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough.

It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.

So many of us have knowingly created / unknowingly allowed / or been handed down a long list of worthiness “prerequisites.”

Here’s what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness:
Worthy NOW! Not when. Not if. We are worthy of love and belonging NOW. Right this minute. As is.
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The Take Home Message

Exercise your worthiness muscle.
Remember: You are enough.

Giveaway

To celebrate the release of Brené Brown’s DVD, The Hustle For Worthiness, I am giving away one copy of the DVD! Leave a comment below sharing a simple, positive thought. Comments will be closed Sunday March 14^th at 6 PM EST with the winner posted shortly after.

Wishing you a wonderful week of worthiness!

Update: Sunday March 14th

–> Giveaway Recipient (chosen via random.org): Giulietta the Muse

Thank you so much to everyone who commented. I am so grateful that you shared such beautiful, authentic thoughts on A Beautiful Ripple Effect.