A Beautiful Ripple Effect » Serenity

Surprises and Rituals

Carolyn — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:58:35 +0000

This post is part of Reverb11. Through January 15th, I will be sharing my responses to the remainder of the prompts. My Reverb11 responses are a bit different than usual—more vulnerable, less polished, more frequent, and probably more interesting!

25. Surprises
What was one thing that surprised you in 2011?

There were a lot of surprises in 2011. In particular, one surprise hurt a lot and is something I’m still trying to work through. For me, to “work through” means to unravel the lesson(s) from within this surprise and maybe even possibly turn this negative into a positive (time is going to be an important ingredient in making this happen). It was a hard surprise because it made me question my faith in those I intrinsically trust. Trust is not something that I give to others freely and when I do give it, I give it 100%. I need to learn to be more giving with my trust but to hold back from trusting to the point that I don’t listen to my intuition. It boils down to gaining more confidence in myself and in my intuition.

Now, let’s turn this around and look at a positive surprise from 2011! I am surprised at my resilience. And I am proud of this incredible resilience. It takes A LOT for me to give up—that’s something I just don’t do. If I believe in something, I will not give up. Throw me obstacle after obstacle, and I’ll keep showing up and giving my all. I guess you could say I’m one tough cookie who can’t be pushed down :)!

26. Rituals
What ritual(s) would you like to introduce into your life?

In 2012, my focus is on happiness + self-care. I want to introduce rituals that will allow me to regain a sense of wellness. My body has been under so much stress over the past few years and I need to take care of it and take care of “me.” I believe in introducing new rituals through tiny actions (over time these actions create tremendous change).

Currently, I’m eating breakfast with my hubby every morning and celebrating this time together. We’re making an effort to really pause for breakfast (no electronics) and begin the day on a clean slate.

Other rituals I would like to introduce: daily meditation, weekly exercise routine (yoga, pilates, strength training, cardio), tea and journaling in the evening, restart daily gratitude practice.

Are there any rituals you’ve recently added into your life? Or rituals you would love to add to your life?

image: cygne noir

How to Create a Personal Relaxation Menu: Part 3

Carolyn — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 11:00:20 +0000

A reader asked me if I could discuss how to create a personal relaxation menu. After some creative brainstorming, I came up with a little series/mini workshop that will guide you through the process. The series consists of four parts.

Inspiration and relaxation methods are not one-size-fits-all. Interestingly, we are inundated with so many new self-help techniques that it has become increasingly difficult to apply them in our everyday life .

Like most individuals, I need reminders to incorporate time for rejuvenation into my life. One such reminder is something I began playing with in college: the personal relaxation menu. A personal relaxation menu evolves with time and practice, but always aims to provide relaxation techniques that work for you in different circumstances. Although it’s a simple tool, it takes time to create this menu since it’s tailored for you, by you. I will guide you through the process of creating a personal relaxation menu over the course of four posts.

If you’re just starting our series, jump in here or start at Part 1 followed by Part 2. Then, meet up with us here when you’re ready!

Overview of Our Journey:

Part 1: An Inspirational Scavenger Hunt. [Collect]
Part 2: Time and Energy are not equal. Play matchmaker. [Divide]
Part 3: Set-up blind relaxation dates. [Collect + Divide]
Part 4: Connect the dots. Put the relaxation puzzle pieces together. [Conquer]

Part 3: Set-up blind relaxation dates. [Collect + Divide]

In Part 1, you learned how to create your own inspirational scavenger hunt. Through this activity, you are able to increase your personal awareness of what makes you happy and what boosts your energy (Yay for serenity triggers!). Then, in Part 2, we put intention into the mix and examined how our energy fluctuates in relation to time.

Now, there’s the fun part! You get to set up blind relaxation dates. First, make a list of your most eligible bachelors/bachelorettes (i.e., energy boosters). Then, choose your top five energy boosters/relaxation techniques. These are your blind dates!

Ready to mingle now? For each of the five relaxation boosters, schedule two 5-minute blind dates (one 5-minute date at a time when you typically have peak energy and the other 5-minute date at a time when you typically have low energy). Don’t worry about the days; only think about the time. Set up your relaxation dates using the download created by your personal relaxation matchmaker (moi!).

After your blind dates, note how you feel (you can do this on your date cards).

What relaxation techniques work best at your peak energy times? For example, during your peak energy time, you may notice that a calming technique provides the greatest benefit (ex. deep breathing, listening to soothing music, doing a few yoga poses, journaling). It may allow you to reconnect with your self and become more focused.

Also notice what relaxation techniques work best at your low-energy times.

When your energy level is low, you may gain the most from a technique that gives you a surge of adrenaline (ex. jumping jacks, listening to up-beat music, calling a friend). Experiment with these different techniques until you find a natural rhythm. Then you’ll know what works best for you and when.

The options are truly endless, so enjoy the process of personalizing your own relaxation menu!

In the final component of this mini-workshop series (part 4), we will pull together all the different puzzle pieces, connect the dots, and organize a personal relaxation menu. Look for part 4 in early November – subscribe to be notified when it’s published!

. . .

join the conversation: share your relaxation secrets in the comments below!

(official wedding countdown: 17 days – o h m y g o s h . . . y i k e s t h a t i s s c a r y)

image: sarah jane studios

How to Create a Personal Relaxation Menu: Part 2

Carolyn — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 11:00:27 +0000

If you’re just starting our series, jump in here or start at Part 1. Then, meet up with us here when you’re ready!

Overview of Our Journey:

Part 1: An Inspirational Scavenger Hunt. [Collect]
Part 2: Time and Energy are not equal. Play matchmaker. [Divide]
Part 3: Set-up blind relaxation dates. [Collect + Divide]
Part 4: Connect the dots. Put the relaxation puzzle pieces together. [Conquer]

Part 2: Time and Energy are not equal. Play matchmaker. [Divide]

Think of this process like dating. When you’re single, you notice potential mates (i.e., cuties) through associated flush cheeks or weak knees. You subconsciously become aware of men or women who are your “type.” But it’s not until you intentionally interact with someone that you really assess whether or not that person is someone special or someone not so special. The same goes for different relaxation techniques. So we’re going to take our relaxation relationship to the next level here by playing matchmaker.

Before we get started with our matchmaking business, let’s define our “type.”

Redefine Relaxation

Just begin with a blank canvas. First, disassociate “relaxation” from what you think you “should” be doing. Then, recreate its meaning by defining it through your actual actions.

Take Action: Follow the steps in this worksheet to create a clear basic working definition.

-> Bonus: Personal Relaxation Definition Worksheet (PDF Download)

Play Matchmaker with Time and Energy

Time is quantifiable. It is a discrete variable with finite characteristics that translate easily. All of us value time quite a lot. We always think about where we sit on the time spectrum. We’re either bored or overwhelmed, early or late, quick or slow. I’m caught in this time trap just as much as the next person. So what do we do? How can we shift our mindset and make friends with time?

Enter our partner in crime, energy.

Our relationship with time is affected by our relationship with energy. When we feel overwhelmed and exhausted, we lack energy. Then, it’s easier to go on autopilot. Why? Because you have very little fuel left. However, to maximize your time, you want to put the brakes on when your energy starts to decrease and focus on recreating your energy through participating in a relaxing activity.

Take Action: Try creating an overall picture of your energy level throughout a typical day. Keep a simple time-energy log for 3 days. Simply keeping the log will let you notice your natural energy lows and highs.

-> Bonus: Time-Energy Log (PDF Download)

A QUICK FIX TIP:

Replace one activity in your life that zaps your energy with another activity that boosts your energy. For example, if you are part of a committee that you know is draining too much of your time (and energy), consider stepping down or reducing your level of commitment. Then, replace this old energy zapper with a new energy booster (ex. schedule “me-time” for when you normally would be doing committee work). The key is to replace the schedule hole immediately, so you don’t just fill it with another energy zapper!

. . .

Do you have any questions or comments? Let me know in the comments below. And be sure to chime in about any insights you may have!

Part 3 of the series (the best part in my humble opinion!) will be presented on Wed. October 6th. Subscribe to be notified as soon as it’s published!

(official wedding countdown: 24 days! o h m y g o s h)

image: think about rainbows

How to Create a Personal Relaxation Menu: Part 1

Carolyn — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 11:00:44 +0000

A note about my approach:

I crave knowledge. I experience intense excitement when faced with the unknown. Let’s call this excitement the essential fuel of my life, because that is exactly what it is. It gets me up in the morning and puts me to sleep at night. I ask questions all day long and never seem to get to the point where I stop searching. If this sounds a bit insane and obsessive, let me assure you that IT IS. It is my greatest strength as well as my Achilles heel. I tell you this as a warning before we start part one of this exercise. Consider yourself officially warned.

The most difficult part of writing about inspiration and self-care is to think about how words can be translated from knowledge into action. It’s one thing to write and read; it’s another thing to do and create change.

You change your life by first determining that you want to create change. I won’t spend time convincing you to do this. Instead, I will assume that you’ve already come to this conclusion on your own and now, by reading this post, you want to determine HOW you can create that change within your life.

Step two is connecting the dots between “I want” and “I will” followed by “I am!” This is what this series is all about: the desire to experience more relaxation within your life as well as a focus on creating that tangible change. If that’s what you want, you’re in the right place.

Here’s where we’re headed:

Part 1: An Inspirational Scavenger Hunt. [Collect]
Part 2: Time and Energy are not equal. Play match-maker. [Divide]
Part 3: Set-up blind relaxation dates. [Collect + Divide]
Part 4: Connect the dots. Put the relaxation puzzle pieces together. [Conquer]

Part One: An Inspirational Scavenger Hunt. [Collect]

Part one is the most fun! In this part, you will become aware of what you gravitate toward—what types of inspiration and relaxation do you most crave? What makes you happy?

I began my own inspirational scavenger hunt with one guiding question on a sticky note: What makes me happy? I had never asked myself that question before, so it worked like a charm! It was new and exciting. Whenever something made me happy, I made sure to document it wherever I was and then put it onto my little treasure map each night. I loved the activity so much that I ordered a huge inspiration board online and put that question in the center of the board, with visual answers emanating from the center outwards. Some of these answers were on post-it notes; others were images printed from the internet or cut out of magazines. I still continue this ritual and am amazed at how much fun I can have locating simple things that make me happy.

The answers are endless, which is why I pre-warned you! I have included steps to help you begin your own inspiration scavenger hunt. Allow yourself at least 5-7 days for this activity. You may continue it for longer, but try not to spend months on this part without moving onto parts two and three!

How to Start Your Own Inspirational Scavenger Hunt

1- Start fresh.

Begin a new journal or document in which to store your notes from this adventure. If you enjoy writing in a journal more than typing notes into a Word document, use a brand new shiny journal for this scavenger hunt. It will provide an incentive to maintain momentum. If you hate writing in a journal, choose another way to start with a clean slate. Simple enough, right?

Take Action: Decide where you will keep your notes for the scavenger hunt. Purchase a new journal or pen if necessary. When you have your treasure chest selected, move on to step two.

2- Take Five.

Spend five minutes writing down a list of energizing activities. Focus only on positive, relaxing actions. Write down anything that comes to mind. This list is for YOU, not someone else. It is not an ideal list, it is YOUR list. What may be energizing to one person could be incredibly draining for another person. The key is to connect with what makes you happy and ground yourself in that space for five whole minutes (more if you like).

Take Action: Schedule five minutes in your calendar for this activity. It may seem strange to schedule time for yourself, but don’t let yourself be fooled. You are just as important as any other scheduled activity. Give yourself permission to focus on YOU, with no strings attached. That’s why we’re starting tiny. You can give yourself five whole minutes. When you complete this list, make sure you put it in your treasure chest for safe keeping!

-> Bonus: Take Five Worksheet (PDF Download)

3- Create a positivity treasury.

Bring awareness to how you feel throughout the day. When you feel a smile developing on your face or a boost in positive energy, jot down what caused this spark of happiness. At this stage, you are a non-judgmental detective. You may notice that that you feel happiest during a seemingly mundane activity or when you’re doing nothing at all. All you need to do is recognize the feeling, which may feel strange since we typically focus on what is making us feel “blah.”

Take Action: For a minimum of three days, play detective and note when you feel positive (e.g., confident, eager, energetic, fulfilled, hopeful, inspired, intrigued, optimistic, proud, grateful). Keep a record of what you are doing when you feel this way and store the clues in your treasure chest.

-> Bonus: Energy Log Worksheet (PDF Download)

4- Reflect.

At the end of your scavenger hunt (or periodically during the three days), write down any observations about what you have experienced. Let your thoughts spill onto the paper. If you enjoy journaling, you could journal about the experience. If you need a little more structure, try writing a letter to yourself, recounting the scavenger hunt and any accompanying thoughts/aha! moments as well as those pesky negative thoughts that love to visit. Keep it simple and easy.

Take Action: Set aside 10 minutes or commit to filling an entire page with your reflection notes. Put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and let your mind do the talking!

5- Organize.

I love to cross my t’s and dot my i’s, especially when it comes to enjoyable activities! If you crave a sense of closure, complete this scavenger hunt (i.e., part 1) by collating all the tidbits you collected into a lovely list. Create a list from scratch or download the inspiration log worksheet. On the worksheet, fill in your favorites and/or cross out any items that don’t work for you. Then, add the final list to your treasure chest.

->Bonus: Inspiration Log Worksheet (PDF Download)

. . .

Do you have any questions? Let me know in the comments below. And be sure to chime in about what makes your inspiration log or any insights you may have!

Part 2 of the series will be presented on Wed. September 29th. Subscribe to be notified as soon as it’s published!

(note: post updated on tue. sep 28th)

Create a Serenity Trigger

Carolyn — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:39:29 +0000

Learn to pause…or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you.
-Doug King

In our fast-paced, multitasking, day-to-day lives, we often find ourselves adrift in chaos. Within this chaos, finding our inner calm is just as important —actually more so — than completing our next task. It allows us to recharge and breathe just a bit easier. It’s incredible what just five minutes of serenity can do for your energy level and mental state.

Now, think about how you currently deal with chaotic moments in your life. If you would like to change your current response to those chaotic moments, create a serenity trigger that will help you find a peaceful place whenever the need arises. This trigger serves as a reminder for you to take a few minutes away from what you’re doing to find serenity amidst chaos. It could be as simple as an image or a positive word/phrase.

This trigger serves as a personal anchor to help you find serenity and return to it over and over again. It allows you to take time to refresh and refocus. These simple moments of calm will make a difference in both your attitude and energy level.

Take Home Message:

Find serenity amidst chaos by utilizing a serenity trigger. Indulge yourself in the beauty that unfolds within these moments of calm.

An Example:

My primary serenity trigger is an image of a beautiful flower blooming within a simple mason jar. Simple, yet a powerful reminder for me that much like that flower, in order to bloom, I need specific nutrients. One such nutrient: serenity.

What is one of your serenity triggers?

11 Ways to Find Serenity Amidst Chaos

Carolyn — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 01:10:54 +0000

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no trouble, no noise, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all these things and still be calm in your heart.”

- Unknown

In our fast-paced, multitasking, day-to-day lives, we often find ourselves adrift in chaos. I have a lot on my plate (plates, really), and I know full well that I’m certainly not the only one!

Within this chaos, finding our inner calm is just as important—actually more so—than completing our next task. It allows us to recharge and breathe just a bit easier. It’s incredible what just five minutes of serenity can do for your energy level and mental state.

Begin this week by using a special power—the ability to find serenity amidst chaos—and watch as the beauty of the week unfolds around you. The following is a brief menu of serenity options from which you can choose. By all means, indulge yourself this week!

1. Breathe. Those seven letters can instantly trigger a calming response. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, count to three, and release. Repeat as necessary.

2. Rock Out. Take a quick four-minute break from your work to listen to your favorite song. You’ll probably find that it will calm you down, pump you up, or bring back great memories. Regardless of the genre, give yourself a moment to enjoy the music that will transport you to a place of pure happiness.

3. Uni-task. Yes, you read that right. Instead of believing in the mantra of more is better, allow yourself to focus on each task at hand, one at a time. This will allow you to de-clutter the other tasks that are taunting you from the periphery of your mind.

4. Step away. Let me guess, you’re staring at a screen just now, right? The television screen, the computer screen, and even the smartphone screen have become the interfaces with which we interact most often. When you’re piling on the work and begin to feel overwhelmed, take a step away, or simply turn your chair around for a minute or two. When you do, you’ll instantly regain the clarity you need to continue.

5. Stop! Think about…things. Placing yourself on autopilot does little more than cloud your mind. Instead, take a minute to organize your thoughts and tasks. This way, as you embark on that checklist, you’ll have a clearer vision of your day. After all, improved clarity brings about greater focus—so watch as you execute all of your tasks.

6. Take a Fresh Air Break. When you feel that you’re being pulled in every direction or that you’re stuck in a certain project, take a minute to walk outside and breathe in the fresh air. This will help you reconnect briefly with nature (even if you’re in the middle of a hot city). More importantly, it can help you get back to work with a revitalized attitude.

7. Read. If you’re in the middle of working, prompt your brain to switch gears by reading something new and interesting. This is a great way to continue the learning process with a broader scope. If you’re at home and everyday stresses are getting to you, reading can be a great way to relax. The images and emotions your brain conjures up simply by reading words will certainly be a welcome method of restoring yourself.

8. Reconnect. When life’s chaotic journey begins to get too far under your skin, it’s important to take a step back and reconnect with someone you’ve met along the way. We are greater than the sum of our experiences, and these include the relationships and interactions that have propelled us to where we are today. Simply pick up the phone to learn how someone else is doing and what they are up to in their own lives. A reminder of the memories will be an added bonus.

9. Stretch. Flexing those muscles and moving your body around is a great way to relieve some of the tension being built up in your muscles. Stretching helps you to continue marching on and allows you to reject the manifestation of any stress—literally and figuratively.

10. Laugh. It’s the most important of all medicines, and taking a minute to laugh with others or even at yourself will definitely reinvigorate your mind and soul. Adopting a lighthearted approach to the chaos that surrounds you will help you return to a tranquil place.

11. Create a Serenity Trigger. No matter how you deal with those chaotic moments in your life, create a serenity trigger that will help you find a peaceful place whenever the need arises. My serenity trigger is an image of a beautiful flower blooming within a simple mason jar. When I visualize it, it reminds me to take a few minutes away from what I’m doing to find serenity amidst the chaos.

All of these actions represent different ways of approaching the same problem. We feel stressed because of the palpable chaos around us. When we do, then it’s time for us to find our place of serenity and return to it over and over again.

What is your serenity trigger? How do you find serenity amidst chaos?