How does one go from overdrive to baseline without losing his/her sanity?
I decided that I would willingly be the test subject for this little study — okay willingly may be too calm of a word — forced, perhaps?
When working on a lot of different projects in various roles, my life can sometimes feel like a circus. Day blurs into night and sleep can become a rare treat.
[Disclaimer: I don't recommend this for anyone.]
The question becomes: after being in “overdrive” how do we return back to “normal?” Normal is obviously quite subjective, but regardless of how we define it, I find that I typically utilize 9 methods to re-calibrate my life and regain a sense of normality.
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(1) Mistakes are Made
“A great nation is like a great man: When he makes a mistake, he realizes it. Having realized it, he admits it. Having admitted it, he corrects it. He considers those who point out his faults as his most benevolent teachers.” — Lao Tzu
When working in overdrive, we can make mistakes. They can be little such as, “Oops… I spent too little time on that project,” or they can be a bit larger. And these mistakes can make us go a bit crazy. We can dwell on them and systematically assess them — torturing ourselves that we did something wrong even though we were working so intensely. This cognitive state can be like quick sand and can make any type of transition seemingly impossible. It’s easier said than done, but recognizing that we made a mistake can be the escape route.
Why?
Because even though we know we all make mistakes, we hold ourselves to different standards and so “mistakes” = “bad.” But it’s part of human nature and one of the greatest methods of learning. So it’s okay to admit, “I did this wrong.” It will get you moving forward much quicker.
Need some inspiration? Read the book, Mistakes were Made (but not by me) by Carol Travis and Elliot Aronson. It was a major eye opener for me recently.
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(2) Establish a Transition Mode
“Don’t just do something… sit there.” — 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself (Steve Chandler)
Think of transitioning like moving from one house to another. It doesn’t happen immediately. You need to pack things into boxes, create lots of labels, often move into a temporary home before your final location, and then unpack boxes and peel off labels all before you are settled into that new home. Similarly, when working at 100% (i.e., overdrive) — regaining a sense of normality isn’t something that happens when you wake up the next morning. You’ll need to be kind to yourself and realize that you may not be up to your normal workout routine or your typical night out adventures. You may need to mentally unplug, sit on the couch, and watch tv for 8 hours straight. That doesn’t mean you are a slacker! Realizing that “transition mode” is actually a normal part of your routine will allow you to release the tension associated with the conflict between “what I should be doing” and “what I really need to be doing.” You likely need to establish more “you” time to return back to baseline. Schedule this time into your calendar so you negate the tension before it has time to build upon you. It can feel uncomfortable so plan ahead to be good to yourself.
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(3) It’s Okay to Ask for Help
“We all need cheerleaders. We all need supporters who look at us and exclaim, ‘Yeah You!’ Going crazy when we score a victory, whatever that victory may be. Supporters who feel deep in their hearts that when you win, they win. And if you lose, they’ll keep on cheering, because the most fundamental truth is that you’re worth your own cheering squad simply by being yourself.” — Ordinary Sparkling Moments (Christine Mason Miller)
You have a support system for that reason: support. When you need extra time to help you through a transition, don’t be afraid to ask for help. A good exercise to try: if your good friend were in this situation, what would you tell him/her to do? Is that what you’re doing? Usually we’re much kinder to our friends than we are to ourselves. So think about your answer. If you’re not doing the same for yourself, ask why. You don’t need to be the “strong” supporter every moment of every day. You can still be “strong” and receive support. Just Ask! It’s often during these little periods of time that we are able to forge closer bonds with our friends as we learn from one another and support each other in different ways. But never be afraid that you’ll appear weak if you ask for help. It’s actually quite the opposite.
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(4) Focus your energy on a passion
It’s typically easier to expend energy when it feels like we’re not doing anything at all. You may be passionate about knitting and so spending some extra time knitting will actually help you to regain energy rather than trying to force yourself to do something that feels like pulling teeth. Because something feels “easy” doesn’t mean you’re being lazy. I know what it feels like to be doing something you’re passionate about and to feel like you’re not doing anything at all — wasting precious time. But in reality, you’re giving yourself a wonderful gift.
I love to write and read blogs. When I need “down time,” I will do these things. I have become more aware of the automatic thoughts that accompany down time and am better prepared to combat them. Just becoming aware of what you’re saying to yourself is helpful and can decrease energy wasted on negative cognition. We’re all about conserving energy and refueling our bodies :). If we do it for planet earth, we should be doing it for ourselves as well.
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(5) Be Positive
All of these methods relate to one common theme: be positive. It is much easier to allow your mood to move into a downward spiral than to watch it like a hawk and try to focus on the positives. It takes energy. Realizing that your energy is well spent on just this activity is key. We often don’t even recognize this as something that requires energy expenditure. But it needs so much focus that when you feel burnt out and you haven’t delegated energy to this task, you will have much more cleanup to do to return to normal than if you focused on maintaining a positive attitude and moving forward. Recognize the smallest glimmers of hope and silver linings. You’ll be able to push through tough times and persevere much more seamlessly than if you feel like everything is just plain awful.
Need more Inspiration? Positivity Week is happening right now at When I Grow Up! Michelle is one of the most positive individuals that one is bound to meet so this is going to be one inspiring week for all to share! (and maybe she’ll continue it beyond this week!)
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(6) Motivate Yourself
“Whatever we learn to do, we learn by actually doing it; men come to be builders, for instance, by building and harp players by playing the harp. In the same way, by doing just acts we come to be just: By doing self-controlled acts, we come to be self-controlled; and by doing brave acts, we become brave.” — Aristotle
Notice I said, “yourself.” Don’t ask for the world to motivate you — you’re leaving far too much up to chance. Be prepared to motivate yourself. Know what keeps you focused and positive. Know how to “reward” yourself. Rewards have become a common word, but not a common act. Redefine what a reward is to you, today. What will make you regain light within — to create a sense of tranquility — to balance turbulence that often is out of your hands? Notice that spark of energy when doing something and create a personal treasury that you can turn to when you need to motivate yourself (e.g., quotes you can read, movies you can watch, songs you can listen to). When you feel the least motivated to move forward, these personal sources of motivation are typically one of the few channels that will guide you in the right direction.
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(7) Notes to Self
“Get away from the crowd when you can. Keep yourself to yourself, if only for a few hours daily.” — Arthur Brisbane
I think a lot about how our words differ when they are spoken to ourselves as compared to when they are spoken to others (e.g., twittering our thoughts, blogging, e-books, podcasts, instant messages, and the list goes on). Do our thoughts evolve differently when they are formulated for ourselves as compared to when they are formulated knowing others will be evaluating them? I would have to assume that the answer is yes — it’s basic social psychology.
For some people, their thoughts may be more powerful when delivered to others. For others, it may be the opposite. I’m probably in between. However, it can be tricky to realize when our thoughts are meant for us or meant for an audience. When I am in “transition” mode, I tend to journal more and write down thoughts that are also in transition. They are meant for me and the act of just writing them on paper is powerful and often what I need to work through a certain thought or problem solve so I can move forward. Just because your words aren’t published doesn’t mean they aren’t just as valuable — if not more valuable. It’s important to value our self as a member of the audience and to realize that our thoughts don’t have to be announced to be meaningful. Great notes can be contained within your journal without guilt or worry. You are worthy of them.
I emphasize this point because you don’t want to block thoughts from being released due to a need for them to be perfect for publication. They don’t have to be published for all to critique. Realizing this allows us to untie the extra weight attached to such thoughts and as a result to worry less about the output and focus more on the process of change.
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(8) From 30,000 Feet
“Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen.” — Leonardo Da Vinci
Look at your life from 30,000 feet — like what you see from outside an airplane window. Look at the big picture to regain a sense of what normal tends to feel like. Utilize this tool to help you re-establish a sense of balance. It serves as a compass from which you can see, create, see again, create again, and so on. It’s a back and forth movement from which you work on the ground floor and then take a moment to utilize a bird’s eye view. Sometimes re-establishing normal is more difficult than just taking a few days off and as a result — utilizing this big picture can become very helpful.
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(9) Ordinary Moments can be quite Extraordinary
It’s within the ordinary that we usually find “sparkling moments” or the trigger for “a beautiful ripple effect.”
What does that mean?
Don’t underestimate what will actually occur when you are transitioning back to daily routine. I read an incredible essay this weekend that really reminded me of this sentiment. The essay is called, A Witness to Grace by Aldra Robinson, the Real Simple Life Lesson Essay Winner.
A tiny excerpt: “Working in that intensive care unit gave me countless sad tales, and some unfortunate memories are burned into my brain. But it wasn’t some catastrophic moment that taught me one of the most powerful lessons of my life. I learned that unbelievably awful things can and do happen. In truth, they are not such rare, isolated events. Each of us has a story that would break someone’s heart. Despite the grief and the unfairness of it all, we keep going. There are chores to be done. There are people who still need our care. There is a life to be led.”
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The three most powerful words: we keep going.
True and simple.
Thank you. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You. If only I could show you what you have shown me – over and over again – that if you reach out for support and kindness, you will receive it beyond your wildest imagination. We are all worthy of support and kindness, but for some reason, it takes a lot of work to really understand this kernel of truth deep within our core. I battle with this constantly, but YOU have shown me that it’s okay to struggle, it’s okay to wear (and own) our imperfections, and to fall flat on our faces – as long as we keep reaching out for support and maintaining the courage to put one foot in front of the other.
