Lately, I’ve been feeling very blah – moments of bliss, but more moments of self-pity. Simply (and very honestly) put, I’ve been feeling very sorry for myself – assigning myself the role of victim — lacking any power or control over my current circumstances. This role or “victim mindset” is something I try to avoid. I despise this feeling and know that nothing positive can come of feeling this way. But it’s a struggle to constantly remind myself that regardless of the circumstance, I choose how I react internally. I don’t have to be the victim – I choose to be the victim because it’s easier some of the time. Sometimes, we need to dig deep into the places we feel weak and broken rather than pretend that these crevices don’t exist.
While re-reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I was struck by this sentence: “But until a person can say deeply and honestly, ‘I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,’ that person cannot say, ‘I choose otherwise.’” And so I began to ponder this statement and its connection to the “victim mentality.” And I’ve realized that I am indeed learning to recognize this mentality and acknowledge it for what it is and then consciously choose my reaction – whatever it may be (anger, acceptance, sadness, etc.). I’m finding that merely acknowledging that I am choosing my current state is empowering and a step in the right direction. And to be honest, I do choose to take on the role of the victim some of the time. It sounds counterintuitive and completely absurd, but could it be that letting ourselves feel and react imperfectly is liberating in of itself? And rather than try to choose otherwise all of the time, simply choosing provides the ability to keep choosing – for better or for worse.
It boils down to letting go of the need to choose “correctly” so that we can choose whatever feels right at the time – correct or incorrect.
And then I wonder, who defines what is counterintuitive – is it based on personal assumptions and expectations or rather, the assumptions and expectations of others? Further, what is correct or incorrect? Asking questions of ourselves and of our vocabulary allows us to choose the paradigms through which we make our choices.
And so I wonder even more, and invite you to ponder and dig deep with me. What do you choose? Do you choose to accept something that may seem counterintuitive? Or what are your thoughts on what is counterintuitive, correct, or incorrect?
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P.S. If you’re a blogger and have written a post that relates to this topic, please leave a link to the post in the comment section. I would love to read your thoughts.
P.P.S. I am looking for a summer/fall intern to work with me on the creative side of A Beautiful Ripple Effect. The person must love to learn and work outside the box — and be able to work in Photoshop, additional photography or illustration skills are a huge plus. If you are interested or know someone who may be, please email me for more information (and include a bit about yourself in that email!).
image: art equals happy
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