What allows some people to eclipse the realm of the possible? Are they really the exceptional ones, or is there more to the equation than mere luck?
Unconventional success redefines what we consider possible—it’s success that has not yet been defined by others. Essentially, this means clearing a path through uncharted territory.
The first step in achieving anything is defining your vision. As a start, begin by asking this powerful question: “What do I want?”
Of course, it’s all too easy to gloss over that kind of question without giving it much thought. But without knowing the answer—your answer—you probably won’t get too far.
Once you have a vision of what you want, the next step you’ll need to take is one that leads you toward finding courage. Courage is associated with bravery and overcoming fear, and in order to discover that courage, we must give ourselves permission to choose a different path, to be unconventional.
We talked about clearing a path, so finding the one you’ll take is entirely up to you; there is no specific path that you must follow. Broadly speaking, the course you chart boils down to your mind-set. In his truly remarkable book, The Pursuit of Perfect, Tal Ben-Shahar discusses why one’s mind-set is so critical with regard to his or her path. I’ve read and studied much of the research Ben-Shahar mentions and agree completely with his discussion on a fixed versus a growth mind-set. Although the notion is identified by two different labels, be sure to remember that individuals change constantly. We may have different mind-sets depending on the situation, but we may also have one that exists along a continuum between “fixed” and “growth.” Here, the golden nugget is that nothing is set in stone!
Very simply put, a fixed mind-set is the belief that our abilities (such as intelligence or personality) don’t change. On the other hand, a growth mind-set is the belief that our abilities do change. [An aside: Considering the paragraph above, what type of mind-set do I appear to have at this point in time?]
For a person with a fixed mind-set, hard work is threatening, it indicates that her abilities are limited and that, by extension, she is, too. After all, if she were gifted and talented, then she wouldn’t need to work. Not wanting to appear deficient, and given her belief that nothing can be done to remedy a deficiency, she constantly feels the pressure to prove to herself and to others how smart, competent, and perfect she already is.
The experience of a person with a growth mind-set is radically different. For her, hard work is not only necessary, it is also fun and exciting; she enjoys the journey because, rather than trying to prove herself constantly, her primary focus is learning, developing, and realizing her potential. In addition to being happier, a person with a growth mind-set is more persistent in her efforts and is therefore more likely to succeed. -Tal Ben-Shahar
Think About It:
Do you feel like you can relate to either or both of these mind-sets?
Deciding to create change in your life is a huge step in itself, but we often underestimate the amount of strength it takes to turn that decision into action. It can be incredibly scary to know what you want even while you fear achieving that outcome. It’s definitely a very unsettling feeling, and if we let it take control of us, then change is unlikely to happen anytime soon. Here, it comes down to your mind-set overpowering your fears and feelings.
Gregory Berns, a leading neuroscientist, says that innovative thinkers (like the creative geniuses who make the impossible possible) are able to create extraordinary change because, “They overcome mental barriers that stop most of us cold.”
Sounds simple, right? Okay, well maybe not simple, but certainly possible.
Now let’s circle back to our focus: How important is your mind-set? If you want to create your own path to success, your mind-set is critically important.
A New Series Focused on the Journey of Unconventional Success
This topic is my passion, and it’s my goal to help you believe in yourself and your ability to create change. To do this, I am beginning a weekly series focused on the journey—the how—of unconventional success. Each week, we’re going to ask questions that reveal information about the “how” versus the final destination. Next week, I’ll launch the series and provide a way for you to ask specific questions.
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If you would be interested in sitting in the hot seat or know someone who would be interested, please e-mail me: carolynblog (at) me (dot) com
… or connect with me on twitter: @clrsimple2
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Unconventional Success Mini-Series
Recently, I have been plagued by guilt. I find myself asking: Why can’t I do it all? Why didn’t I prepare better for this incredibly busy time in my life so I didn’t feel myself pulled in so many directions? My two main priorities for the remainder of 2010 are 1) to focus on doing my personal best in my graduate program, which will be my most difficult academic challenge thus far and 2) to enjoy the final days of being a bride and of course, the “big day” itself.